I Want to Meet the Woman...

Who has the guts to do this. Over at MomDot Trisha put up a post for Fox News. Check it out here. Apparently they are trying to do a special on Super Moms.

Now I know over at the Zoo I did a post about how we are all Super Mom but we all know that that was completely facetious. But just the same.

I know that there are women who try to be a real live Super Mom. They make sure their children are dressed to the nines for everything from playdough to family portraits. Their homes are spotless all the time (just in case someone should stop by) and there is always a treat of some kind freshly baked or baking. They may even be able to do all that and still balance a full time job. Their hubbys are thrilled to trot them out at company functions because they are always guaranteed to be witty, charming, polished and all around delightful. These are the moms whose minivans are always stocked with spare clothes, snack, juice and never have even a crumb on the floor much less a fingerprint on the windows.

But go ahead and ask them about it. Ask them if they think they are Super Mom. Even if they really do they are not about to admit it! We are women before we are mothers. And as women, we have a confidence problem. If we admit that we are Super Mom then someone is going to start watching our every move just waiting for us to mess up. The thought of failing as a self proclaimed Super Mom makes us swear off of PTA meetings for the rest of our child's career at the current school. If we admit we are Super Mom we will be branded as the egotistical too good for the rest of the playgroup mom who suddenly stops getting the invites or is sent incorrect times.

I want to meet the woman who admits that she is Super Mom and does it with such confidence that we all agree. I want to meet the woman who claims the title and then manages to live up to it. She really would be among the people I claim as superheroes in my life.

Now if you won't be too offended, my cape and I have to go wax the van.

I am NOT going to make a good PTA member.

As is our usual custom, I packed up the troops at 2:15 and went to pick Mo up from school. There was Nudist drama right before we left the house and I've been under the weather so maybe I wasn't in the best frame of mind. But then I got into the carpool lane and my mood spiraled downward into the Abyss.

No one seemed to be paying attention so it was like being in line at the amusement park. A load of kids got in their cars and the parents pulled away. Five more cars pulled up to take their loads. But then there was that one person who just couldn't put the magazine down long enough to pay attention and let a huge gap grow. Finally she snapped out of it and pulled up. Now we're back in business.

Then we have the dad who apparently doesn't do this much. He waited until his son was standing beside the car to get out and carry him around to the other side and put him in his car seat with backpack still on. So now he has to take that off and buckle him in and make sure the buckle is through the seat properly. And now we're backed up again. Finally Dad gets in the car and here we go.

Now there was one car in front of me. So Mo jumps in I buckle her up as the automatic door closes, jump into my seat and put the van in gear. The mom in front of me has stopped in the middle of the lane to talk to the mom who has pulled over in front of the dumpster to get something out of the back of her SUV. And they talked. And they talked. And the line is pile up behind me and they talked some more.

Tuck is wanting to know why we aren't going anywhere. Mo is yelling at Tuck because she wants to tell me about her day and he won't stop talking about the ladies who are blocking the driveway. Munch can't be left out so she starts her "JUICE! JUICE! JUUUUUIIICCCCCEE!" campaign.

And they are still talking. Finally one of the teachers catches Dumpster Mom's eye and makes it clear that they are gumming up the works. And I hear her say, "Well, I guess we better move."

Ya think?!

I am not going to be a popular person at the PTA meetings. Say what you have to say and get out of my way. I'm not a very social person to begin with but if you want me to sit and talk about dr's appointments and dance classes you definitely have the wrong mom.

Maybe I should have titled this blog "Things I learned in the Carpool Lane!"