Real Housewives, My Big Apple!

Do they really want me to refer to all these women as "real housewives?" And why is my husband the one in this house that keeps getting sucked in?

Real Housewives of Orange County, Atlanta, and now New York. I don't know what annoys me most. That they have their own show to show off their self indulgence, egotism, cattiness and nonsense, or that they refer to themselves as "housewives."

I am a housewife. I scrub toilets, wash dishes, mop floors and take out the garbage. I rake my own leaves, do my own interior decorating, and haven't gone shopping in almost a year. The last manicure I had was for my sister in laws wedding (right after I went shopping) and the last meal I had in a restaurant was before Christmas. I pack lunches and cook for my family. A dinner party at my house involves a grill and aluminum foil.

And all of that annoys me because these "housewives" do none of that stuff - at least not on camera, which leads me to believe that they don't do it at all.

But let's address Beloved's bizarre ability to find it everytime it's on. I don't know how it happens but I promise you the only time he lands on Bravo is if it's West Wing or Real Housewives. Could he land on the Johnny Depp episode of Inside the Actor's Studio? Of course not! Does he change the channel as soon as Inside the Actor's Studio comes on? Yes. But if I even look cross eyed at the remote while his Housewives are one he gets all twitchy.

He's going to have my hide for outing him like this

but I find it very

strange and I have to ask. Everyone has a guilty pleasure TV show so in honor of Beloved and his Housewives, what is your guilty pleasure show? The first person to confess to Matlock or Murder She Wrote will win free linky love in next week's Show me the Funny (even if you aren't!).

A New Meaning to Black Friday

You didn't think I missed the whole "Stampede Someone to Death for a TV" story from WalMart?

Oh no! My poor father took my rage on that one! You saw it right? A 34 year old temp maintenance employee happened to be the poor chap who opened the doors on Friday. Think that might have been a short straw moment?

It wasn't enough that these crazed maniacs tore the door off the frame! No, they stomped a man to death, knocked down a woman who was eight months pregnant and when other workers tried to help they roughed them up too.

I was shocked and dismayed at this much of the story but then I hit "Read full article." The shoppers complained and refused to leave the store when management tried to close. Are you kidding me? You waited all night by choice. You stomped a man to death. And now you can't stop shopping long enough to let them at least clean up the mess you made? Seriously?

I understand that the economy is tough right now and that no one has a lot of money to spend. I get that sales are important this year. I also understand that some of you are psychotic enough to shop on Black Friday. I get it that Wally World had some good deals.

But you kill a man for a TV! And then you complain because you have to stop shopping! I can't even begin to tell you how enraged I was at the human race Friday evening when this story came up. But I am getting even angrier as I realize that the chances this man's family is going to have any kind of justice is next to nil. They can enhance and study that security tape all they want but the chances that they are going to be able to bring anyone up on charges is next to nothing.

So his children (if he has any) get to look at a tree this year that probably won't have many (if any!) presents under it thanks to funeral costs and their father being gone! They also get to look at an empty seat at the dinner table and a missing stocking over the fireplace. But let's be clear. They won't just do this THIS year. They get to do it every year from here on out.

I hope you enjoy your TV. Perhaps you could send the widow the money you saved. Oh but wait; that would require you to act like a human!