Let's be Real!

Last night while I was cruising around Bloggy Land I started looking at some profile pics and of course thinking about mine. This is the large version of my profile pic.

Aren't we all so cute and pretty?

But see when I'm sitting here at the computer writing to you and cruising your pages, this is totally NOT what I look like. How about a good dose of reality this morning? Here's what you would see if you could look through your page and see me on the other side.

(Obviously, I don't look that bored when I'm on your page but the web cam was not cooperating this morning and I was annoyed.)

So let's study this for a minute.

A. That would be the ever present ball cap that stays on my head to hide the fact that I haven't showered or even glanced in the direction of a hairbrush in 12 hours.

B. Present from fall to spring, you are now seeing the very fashionable hooded sweatshirt (one of 3 options). This is used to mask exhibit D but we'll get to that in a minute.

C. Please notice the total lack of makeup and the glaring presence of dark circles and bleariness. I don't wear makeup except for church and the bleariness is courtesy of sleeping in my contacts yet again.

D. The syrup and jelly stained shirt. That I slept in.

And you people wonder why I don't vlog very often. I'm just saying. I'm very glad that blogging is something I can do with a computer screen between you and me.

So I'm a big softy! So what?!

My hubby was watching True Hollywood Story this morning when I got up. It happened to be Jessica Simpson and family and in my current state (full blown allergy sinus chaos) I was weak and I got sucked in.

I feel really bad for celebrities. I know! You think I'm crazy and you're probably right but please hear me out.

I don't wear makeup. Ever. I don't like it. I don't have time for it. And it's just one more thing for my children to get into and smear all over everything in the house. So I don't do makeup. I can get away with it because I'm just Mom. No one notices me unless on of the inmates has escaped and I am sprinting through the grocery store yelling at the top of my lungs.

Celebrities can't do that. They go out one time without makeup and suddenly not only are they bumped from People 100 Most Beautiful People but suddenly the tabloids have their families falling apart while they go into rehab and find out they are dying from African Hippo Rot. And if THEY were seen sprinting through the grocery store yelling, they would be suffering from a mental breakdown, an eating disorder and Turrets syndrome.

And don't get me started on paparazzi. Those people are brutal! I know they have to have a job too but do they have to be so ugly about it?! Come on people! Let her at least eat a muffin and drink her Starbucks without snapping a million photos that are going to be plastered all over telling everyone what horrible manners she has because she left 2 crumbs on the table!

I'm lucky. No one wants a picture of me. Not even out here in bloggy world!! Did you notice? Other than over at the Zoo where there are 2 (and those are the only 2 pics that have been taken of me THIS YEAR!), there are no pics of me to be had. My avatar is a Zedonk people!! Obviously I am not a Zedonk because I can type but I digress.

And heaven help the celebrities if they fight back. They are seen as brutal and rude and violent. How would you feel if there was a lens in your face 24/7 and people were interviewing you about how you're feeling when you didn't even know you were supposed to be sick? That's what you get for going out without makeup!

Nah. I'll stay just little old, poor, nobody notices me. I like hanging out in my yoga pants and spit up T-shirts. It's a nice cover for my eating disorder and Turrets.