Under the Weather

*If you read from my Facebook page you may want to click through to the original post to get the full effect."

I woke up this morning feeling tired but otherwise ok. I got everyone out of the house safely and in a timely manner. Then I tried to do my workout and promptly got woozy, fell over from a Downward Dog, jumped up and heaved. Go ahead and laugh. I did while I brushed my teeth. I still haven't fully recovered so my day has been spent watching the Hallmark Movie Channel.

It's a veritable fountain of infomercials just screaming to be blogged!



There is so much to highlight in this one! For starters, the idea that a personal grooming product is referred to as a weapon does not conjure painless images in my head. Then you have the funky feet that they used to shoot this. Please tell me you were as grossed out by the calloused heel as I was. Maybe this is why I've been nauseous all day. And why exactly do I want two of these things? Do I really need to do both feet at one time? Somebody still has to paint the toes right? I studied the little attachment things and I didn't see a paint sprayer in there but I might have missed it.

But there's more! (Told you I've been watching all day.)



Boy I'm glad they included those other springs to provide different levels of resistence. I'm a little dissapointed in the bonuses. A carrying bag? That's it? But my hubby and I wanted his and hers. And how much can you put on a DVD to support a Thighmaster for your neck? Can you prop it between your shoulder and your ear to get an all around workout? Who wants to bet that the special cream is really just Vaseline intensive care lotion?

But call now and I'll double your order for FREE! Oh, and let's talk about that. They don't have to tell me "But Wait!!" I'm hanging on every word from the very start just to see what my bonus is at the end. It's like watching the roulette wheel. Am I going to get a double order or are they going to take money off? Are they going to send me a carrying case, video or special promotional umbrella made out of frog fur? The tension is palpable!

I remembered now why I don't watch daytime TV. Can't stand the recycled soap stories; don't feel like watching fake court and laugh entirely too hard at the infomercials.

I Have Never Been Hit by a Garbage Truck

But I'm pretty sure this must be what it feels like.

You take one body and you crash it. Then you deprive it of sleep for several days while a child has the flu. Install the latest version of that flu virus on the body's hard drive, deprive said body of it's daily caffiene intake and rack the abdominal muscles with convulsions. Be sure that the virus you have downloaded makes it impossible to ingest any kind of pain reliever.

When all is said and done you should look like this.

And feel like you've been run over by a garbage truck. I swear if I hear the back up beeping I'm just going to lay down and let it take me.