Giveaways!

And you totally thought that I was running one when you came sprinting over here didn't you? Got a little cramp in your clicking finger huh? Sorry.

And now that the contest stalkers are gone...The rest of the story.

I used to enter giveaways. Sure did! As a matter of fact it might have been the second or third reason I started blogging. I would stalk the contest sites and the review bloggers to see what they were reviewing in hopes that I could win something awesome like a phone or a camera or a new set of cookware. And I won a few contests. I got some really cute stuff for my family for Christmas and I was happy.

Now I avoid reviews and contests like the plague. Unless it's something really awesome. Would you like to know why?

Anymore to enter a contest you have to pick your favorite item from the site (which I completely have no problem with - that's the point), then blog it - with a link back of course, tweet it, follow the blogger, grab their button, add them to your twitter and clean their toilet with your toothbrush. Then you have to go back to their page and put all that stuff in their comments. Of course for every comment you have to fill out the captcha word verification to prove that you're not a computer generated contest spammer. And inevitably it's the person who cleaned their toilet AND their sink who wins.

I'm just saying there's a place for gathering link love, Twitter and Blog followers. I was lamenting my traffic stats the other day and several bloggers told me that while yes they get big traffic on their contests and giveaways, those people don't ever come back until the next giveaway. Wouldn't it make more sense to grow your site genuinely and reward your readers with giveaways as a thank you?

You are asking yourself where this little tirade came from aren't you? Well I was considering going out and trying to find some sponsors for a little blogoversary party for my blogs. After all I'll be celebrating the blogoversary and 300 posts at about the same time (if not THE same time). But then I wondered if that might not be more trouble and chaos than I have the patience for. I'm still deliberating - I'll get back to you when I reach a decision.

In the meantime go ahead and weigh in. After all it IS Two Cents Tuesday. So spill it! Do you still enter contests? Are the requirements reasonable to you? Are you a Giver? Can you explain all the hoops?

Two Cents Tuesday: Workin' my Nerves!

I did it! I've been threatening and I did it. I vlogged Two Cents this week. Sorry to those of you who read me from work and can't bust yourselves. It'll still be here tonight. In the meantime you can all go read the other Two Cents over at Jen's place. There are some really great writers over there and you could be among them. Because let's face it, we all have Two Cents about something!

Random Updates on Random Stuff

Yes, I managed to completely offend my one French reader and scare them away. I think we all saw that coming!

No, I still have not decided how I am going to celebrate the blogoversaries that are coming up. Yes, you may make your suggestions.

Yes, I am still up in arms about the auto makers bailout. The bailout can buy bad debt and throw more and more money after the financial sector without even the first argument from the public. But the idea of passing more money to the automakers is reprehensible. If you are so outraged by it go buy a car from the automakers and let them get their money the "honest" way. What? You don't have the funds to do that? Why don't you go get a loan? Oh yeah! Because the banks aren't loaning money. So what is happening to all the funds that are supposed to be freed up by the buy up of bad loans and the continuing interest cuts? I forgot. It's being used for bonuses. Silly me!

Shove it! Can we please do something to keep people in jobs? Beloved told me this morning that 30% of FedEx's business comes from GM. Still want to let GM go under?

I'm supposed to be updating you aren't I? Sorry. Let's see. Thank you to everyone who commented on my rant Saturday and on my faith tale yesterday. I'm still not sure what the point of my writing yesterday was.

I found Nadya Suleman's vlog yesterday although I can't remember where. Can we talk about selective information? You have to give her credit. She sure knows how to paint a good picture. And now that there is no one objective hanging around I guess that's the picture everyone will see. Good luck.

Oh and if you are needing a great chuckle today you absolutely must pop over to Jiggety Jigg's place and watch her movie. The Lego people are cracking me up!

I think that's about it for now. I'l probably be back in a while for a real news round up. Or not. We'll see.

Just Because it Happened

I had an experience this morning in church and normally I wouldn't blog it because it was...well, unusual and very personal. But for some reason it keeps replaying in my mind and I have to let it out. I don't know what the point of my sharing is or even if there is one so don't think too hard on it. Unless of course you want to.

I went to church like usual this morning even though I woke up feeling just under the weather enough to wonder if I should. But I rounded up the children and got everyone ready and went anyway. I dropped everyone off at their usual classes and took my normal seat in the sanctuary. I sit in the very back pew off to one side with an older couple who adopted me. We're a pretty quiet trio.

Worship was it's usual inspiration and I was very peaceful. Announcements, doxology, offering. The offeratory song was one that I have always loved and quite honestly I can't remember which one it was right this second because what happened next completely changed the whole service for me. Remember how I sit at the very back of the sanctuary off to one side? From the second row directly in front of the pulpit I saw a woman stand up and start for the back of the church.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her and she was obviously crying. She hadn't made it to the middle of the sanctuary when I was suddenly standing up and dashing out the back door to meet her in the gathering area. I don't know why I did it; I just knew I had to. We took one look at each other and she grabbed me in one of the tightest hugs I have ever had.

I am an introvert. I really try to fade into the background of every scenario I find myself in. To suddenly find myself hugging a sobbing stranger was unbelieveable and in any other circumstance would have been painfully weird. I walked with her to the bathroom with absolutely no expectations except to grab some tissues and wipe eyes and noses. It was none of my business why she was crying; it was just obvious that she needed someone to be with her at that moment.

She suddenly opened up to me and shared her story. I don't think it's critical to know what was going on but she was in some very real pain. Two other ladies in the restroom at the time started to pour out advice to her and prayed with her and provided encouragement and I stood off to the side. I honestly didn't say a word.

When the other two had left she and I stood in the gathering area and just looked at each other for a minute. I of course had to make some witty crack about the fact that I want to go to kids heaven when I die because it's all about picnics, swings, slides and sunshine and she laughed and smiled. I gave her one more hug and went back to service.

After service I went to communion and was on my way back to gather my stuff and go snag the kids. I ran into her again and just smiled and shared a few more words. My church is pretty large so the chances that I will see her again next week are 50/50. I didn't give her any contact info to get in touch - not because I didn't want to but because it really didn't seem like the thing.

The whole experience was fleeting at best. I didn't really offer any profound advice or life changing encouragement. The only thing I really shared was a hug and a smile. So why did this have such a huge impact on me? Why is it replaying in my mind over and over? What am I supposed to do with this?

My faith tells me that there was a purpose. That somehow I helped her just by being a friend when she needed one. My faith tells me that someday I will see the outcome of this interaction. My faith tells me that I was compelled to write this out for a reason too. I don't know.

Maybe the story will inspire someone to leave their comfort zone for the sake of another. Maybe someone will write a letter to a long lost friend. Maybe someone in pain will read this and take hope that they aren't completely alone.

Maybe it was just for me.

Inquiring Minds Want to Slap People Around.

Which should have a subtitle of "She Took The Leash off her Brain."

Sorry. It's been raining for four days again and I'm grumpy again tonight.

I want to know from my fellow bloggers, how often do you read through your reader? I mean REALLY visit the bloggers that once upon a time you liked enough to follow or add to your reader.

I honestly try to read through at least twice a day. Now my reader isn't that big and let me tell you why. Because I want to read through it. If you lose my interest I will blip you from my reader and that will be that. I am not afraid to unfollow.

It's not fair to you to have a bajillion followers who never read your stuff. And here's why I feel that way. I have 29 followers on this blog. I think a handful comment regularly. When I check my traffic trackers (yes, I'm spying on you) over half never really come by. Why? Did I suddenly go boring and you decided you didn't want to hurt my feelings by unfollowing? Don't do that! Be real! If I am boring rocks to sleep, feel free to unfollow my beige behind.

And it can't be because I never post new stuff. I post at least once if not twice a day. Except on the weekends. I try to take those off sometimes.

Here's my theory. Blogging is a very narcissistic project. You talk about yourself, your opinions, your "stuff," and to gain traffic you have to promote the fool out of your blog and in essence yourself. I think some people start to become so obsessed with the promotion and in essence themselves that they quick looking around.

Maybe that's why my Show me the Funny doesn't work so well. Because people are only looking at their own stuff for contributions instead of reading and sharing what made them laugh. I have to give a wheelbarrow full of kudos to Jen at TuTu's Bliss because the last two weeks she's been playing Funny with me and she actually links to other people on her blog that make her laugh. She gets it.

So now I ask again. How often are you reading through your reader? Should you even bother adding blogs to it if you're never going to read it?

Maybe I need to add another aspect to my blog - The Weekly Rant. People seem to like to be mad more than they like to laugh. Bet a ranting meme would rock the house. Once again the optimist is trapped in a pessimistic world.

Hey Georgia! Take Driver's Ed!

The residents of my personal work camp fixed my soap box yesterday so I'm back up on it.

Georgia residents must take drivers ed. They have to. If they don't I demand that they turn in their car keys for bike helmets. You would think that people would be a lot more careful when they are pushing tons of metal around on the highways and by ways but not here in Georgia.

Let me give you a crash course people.

#1. When it rains you reduce your speed, turn on your wipers and headlights and you follow at a greater distance to allow for more stopping time. This does not mean drop to 20 miles an hour nor does it mean continue to barrel along at 70 like you normally do.

#2. A yellow light does not mean "Gun It!" It means slow down or maybe actually stop ahead of time so that you are not blocking the entire intersection thus snaggling traffic for people in the three roadways.

Especially do not block an intersection in front of a fire station. When stupid people like you get behind the wheel accidents happen and guess who gets called to the scene. The emergency personnel that you know have pinned down in their station. They have no qualms with plowing you out of the way and since they are bigger than you, something tells me you are going to get the short end of the stick.

#3. On the left side of your steering column there is a lever. You are probably familiar with it - it has the knob to turn on your headlights. But apparently there is something else you didn't know about it. If you push it up or down it locks and completes an electrical circuit that makes some lights on your car flash. You know what those flashing lights tell the rest of the drivers? That you intend to turn your car one direction or the other. Let me simplify it a little more for you - up is right; down is left.

One thing you should know about this wonderfully useful lever. It is most effective if you use it in advance of your turn. See, then the people behind you know what you intend to do before you do it. Using it in midturn is perfectly worthless.

#4. This one is a little tricky so I'll type slowly and use small words. The Yield sign means that you slow down or maybe even stop and give the right of way to the people coming down the road that you are turning onto. It does not mean that you should charge onto the six feet of roadway that you have left and shove your bumper in my wheel well while giving me one way directions with the appropriate finger. If I take your bumper home with me as a souvenir, guess who is getting the ticket for failure to yield. One hint. It ain't me.

And finally #5. And this is aimed at the lady in the black Audi who takes her children to the Creme de la Creme across the street from my subdivision. There is an enormous sign that says "No left turn." If you insist on continuing to make a left turn into the center, I will insist on removing your front bumper when I'm trying to get into my neighborhood without having my rear bumper and back seat ripped off by the people coming down the hill.

I will also be forced to sue the rings off your grill if I get T-boned because someone decided to use my turning lane as a travel lane trying to get around you and thus avoiding having their rear eaten by the cement truck that is barrelling down on them from the other side.

I'm sure there are about a million other rules of the road that you are oblivious to like how to merge, highway courtesy, and the definition of "speed LIMIT." Tip - they didn't print the sign like that because the word "suggestion" was too long. For now I will let you deal with our first five rules. Maybe next week we'll have another "Driving for Morons" course.

Until then, try not to kill anyone.

Show me the Funny! My Fantastic Finds!

Welcome back Funny Fans! It's Thursday (and thanks to the pollen I'm zonked out on Benadryl - this should be fun!) and that means it's time for Show me the Funny! We didn't have a theme this week so if you are wondering if you missed something I assure you you did not.

It's a Free For All! Woo Hoo!

I did a little rooting around and scouring of the web this week to find you some new funny bloggers and sites. Let's hope that you find them as much fun as I did.

My new favorite bloggers to stalk are Dana and Joe over at Life is Good. Technically it's Dana's page but Joe is obviously a reliable source of fodder so I give him credit too. Join me in wishing them luck with their new plan to move to Florida - if they can take the neighbors.

Then I found Jeff Tomkins. His take on the worls is so similar to mine that I was thinking about asking him if I could send my clone to contribute to his blog but then I wondered what I was going to do with all my spare time. Anyway, if you want an idea of how similar we are you really must read his take on President Obama's recent gaffes. I should be on that PR crew.

And how could I turn down a blogger who refers to herself as Vodka Mom?! Uh oh! Mommy's drinkin' again! I Need a Martini Mom is probably not what you would expect from a kindergarten teacher but it just reminds you that teachers are sick twisted people that you trust your children too every day - good luck sleeping with that thought! Remind me not to join her circle of housesitting friends would ya? And you have to see what she's teaching her Kindergarten class about letter recognition.

This next one is for my pal Nut. We were just having a conversation about how the homework in elementary school has nothing to do with the children - it's parental competition. Well, Anna at Life Just Keeps Getting Wierder shared her take on it. Just watch your fingers; those glue guns can get HOT!!

And for our parting shot you have to check out J Jiggety. I am so frightened about sending Tuck to school now that I am shopping for homeschooling supplies. What am I going to pull out of HIS pockets next year?!

What did you find this week? Can you make me guffaw and laugh out loud? Try me! Or snag the button, blog your own and link back with linky! Don't forget to Live, Love and Laugh!!