Answering Life's Mysteries!

I haven't taken you on a tour of the news in a while so I decided to see if there was anything worth while to share. Hooo Doggie! (And yes I DID just type that!)

Want to know why there's always a line at the ladies room and NOT at the mens room? It's because the majority of them are right handed and now the line on their side is going to get even shorter.

Store launches underpants for left-handed men

I had no idea. But now that there is equality in men's underpants, I know I will sleep better tonight!

Want to know why hiking is so popular in Europe? It's the scenery. Definitely the scenery - or maybe not.

Kids, it's a nature walk -- sounds like fun!

Because handing the bears their food already naked relieves the flossing issues that the furry fellows have.

Want to know why it's cooler to work in Australia? Because you get to wear honest to goodness powered ties!

Shirtmaker designs tie for your iPod

And The Man thought he won when he took Solitaire off the computer. Hah!

Want to know why your milk tastes different? Because it's chilled! Or at least coming from a chilling cow.

Comfy cows more productive, more relaxed?

Now if you read that article all the way through you noticed that these cows in padded pens have an issue. They now will be needing regular hoof-icures. Hate to tell you but the Happy Cows aren't in Cali anymore!

I'm going to this next year just so I can shake this dude's hand. World Beard and Moustache Championships

Some days I wish I could make this stuff up. And then other days (like today) I look at Reuters and wonder how I can get a job. Odd news ROCKS!

Show me the Funny: Help Me Edition!

Help! I haven't seen any good funnies all week. I need humor and I need it fast. My mood is getting darker by the minute and there is no telling what I might do if I'm pushed too far.

So GO! Go into the blogosphere and bring me back some humor. The survival of the Bowl depends on you! If you Twitter tweet this out. If you Facebook put me on your links. If you stand on a street corner dressed as a cell phone, cow or toasted sandwich wave my link around like mad. Can't say I'll pay you because that would be lying and I'm not a Big Fat Liar (most days). But you will maybe draw me out of my funk and then I'll be able to poke fun at other people and nonsense and stuff.

In the meantime look at the loony I have to live with. And go! Go get me my funny!

Show me the Funny: I'm a Lazy Butt Edition!

In case you missed the memo, it's Spring Break here so we aren't really doing much more than watching movies, playing playdough, and counting down the days to reinforcements - I mean, Grammy and Poppie and Auntie B.

That being said I haven't been doing too much hunting for funny this week - as a matter of fact big hypocrite that I am, I haven't been reading much of anything this week. That's your warning. Next week should be loaded with hysterical catch up reading.

In the meantime, I'm going to toss up Mr. Linky and preload some funnies that came to my inbox this week. Enjoy, snag some more and by all means...

Live, Love and Laugh!

Show me the Funny: In Pictures and Video!

I think I have spent the better part of this week laughing until I had tears rolling down my face. There are some completely hysterical videos and pictures out there this week. From spiders to speech impediments and from hairdos to barstools. Thank you a million times over for making me laugh this week gang!

If you think you can hang with these rock stars go ahead and snag the button, blog/vlog your funny and link away!

So Merrie kicked my week off with her National Geographic Spiders. I keep looking over my shoulder for the Crack Spider personally because with the amount of caffiene I've been working on lately it's only a matter of time!

Then Jay decided that he's going to bump Clinton off What Not to Wear and made me rethink my stance on wall paper - and put on a hat.

My sister of course is constantly on a mission to find the kind of stuff that makes me snort. If this isn't the most ingenious recycling of a lawmower I don't know what is!

Rachel let me know that I'm not the only person who thinks there should be a revival of Kids say the Darndest Things with her cursing daughter who has a sock issue.

If you are a fan of the Worst of Idol you have to head to Vegas and check out the little gift Tasha wrapped up for you in a buck toothed bow. You may want to have someone standing by with their finger on speed dial for 911. I couldn't decide what was more critical - my bleeding ears or the hyperventilation from laughing.

Now for those of you who can't open video at work, I'll toss you a bone. You have to place a bid on the ficus (or get cursed in Armenian) over at "Chrissy's" place.

Way to go gang! Normally I'm scrambling on Thursday to find the truly funny but you all served it up on a stand up mike!

Random Updates on Random Stuff

Yes, I managed to completely offend my one French reader and scare them away. I think we all saw that coming!

No, I still have not decided how I am going to celebrate the blogoversaries that are coming up. Yes, you may make your suggestions.

Yes, I am still up in arms about the auto makers bailout. The bailout can buy bad debt and throw more and more money after the financial sector without even the first argument from the public. But the idea of passing more money to the automakers is reprehensible. If you are so outraged by it go buy a car from the automakers and let them get their money the "honest" way. What? You don't have the funds to do that? Why don't you go get a loan? Oh yeah! Because the banks aren't loaning money. So what is happening to all the funds that are supposed to be freed up by the buy up of bad loans and the continuing interest cuts? I forgot. It's being used for bonuses. Silly me!

Shove it! Can we please do something to keep people in jobs? Beloved told me this morning that 30% of FedEx's business comes from GM. Still want to let GM go under?

I'm supposed to be updating you aren't I? Sorry. Let's see. Thank you to everyone who commented on my rant Saturday and on my faith tale yesterday. I'm still not sure what the point of my writing yesterday was.

I found Nadya Suleman's vlog yesterday although I can't remember where. Can we talk about selective information? You have to give her credit. She sure knows how to paint a good picture. And now that there is no one objective hanging around I guess that's the picture everyone will see. Good luck.

Oh and if you are needing a great chuckle today you absolutely must pop over to Jiggety Jigg's place and watch her movie. The Lego people are cracking me up!

I think that's about it for now. I'l probably be back in a while for a real news round up. Or not. We'll see.

Show me the Funny Has Been Cancelled.

Since no one felt like playing along or adding linkies, I have decided that I will just pull the plug.

April Fool! Yeah I know it was a lousy attempt but how can you pull an April Fool's prank in print? I'm sure some of you will figure it out now that I've thrown out the challenge.

I was sorting through my personal memorie stores of pranks pulled and I realized that very few had anything to do with April Fools. There was the B & B sign we put on the front of a friends house claiming that it was Peggy Sue and Norman Lou's Bed and Breakfast - Free Breakfast starts at 4 AM. They were farmers - they were up anyway! The best part was that they didn't see it when they went to the barn first thing. It wasn't until people driving by started honking and they crossed back to the house that they saw it.

When we went by on the bus later Peggy had strung Christmas lights around it, donned a frilly apron and was waving to everyone with a feather duster.

We couldn't let them get the best of us so for Halloween the next year we made scarecrows of them, parked them in thier swing in the front yard and put up a banner that said "Peggy Sue and Norman Lou sittin' in a Tree." We used some food coloring to make polka dot toilet paper and TP'd their tree all around the swing. This time though we made sure to do it on a Saturday night so they couldn't do any clean up before church Sunday morning.

I failed to remember that half of my church drove past their house on the way and got busted before 10 AM. My friend and I found "severed" scarecrow heads in trash bags on our door steps Sunday afternoon. But we DID get an "offer" from a made up toilet paper company to help them market their toilet paper.

I have to give my dad credit for The Best Turn Around. One April Fool's I put a black rubber band around the sprayer on the sink - you know the ones you pull up? When my dad turned the water on it of course shot him in the face. I was outside doing chores when he was had so I missed the whole thing. Dear old Dad put the rubber band back and then when I came in for dinner asked me to fill the water cups for the table. Who forgot about her own prank?

Then you have the Great Prank War of Simpson Hall. My suite mates filled a pair of my jeans with the funk out of their fridge then hung them on my door. When I tried to pick the jeans up the mess spilled all over our newly mopped floor. We in turn put clear nail polish on the bar of soap so it wouldn't lather, red cool aid in her strawberry shampoo and a couple of tea bags in the shower head. Oh, yeah! And saran wrap on the toilet bowl. Then we went out.

Somewhere in there all of someone's personals got scattered through and locked in their car while it was parked beside her boyfriend's car but I honestly had nothing to do with that! I had called it quits with the tea bag and saran wrap.

So fess up folks! Grab the button and blog away. It's only two weeks away and I know some of you will need to do some planning!

Now remember, live, love, and LAUGH!

You May Have Noticed

that my writing has slowed down a little lately.

I was losing my inspiration. I was tired of Bloggy Land and all the nonsense that goes with it. On top of that the entire family (dog included) managed to catch the flu. Add the financial crunch that everyone is finding themselves in these days and I just could not shake the funk.

So I took a day off. I went out after church and did some dream shopping for a laptop/netbook at Best Buy and priced the oh so necessary external hard drive. Not that the entire family who was all trying to look at the same box slammed right up against the shelf even noticed me on my tip toes trying to see price tags and sizes over their heads.

Then I headed over to JoAnn's to see if I could find a pattern for a skirt for Easter (only a month away! Eeek!) and ended up talking to my parents from the pattern counter (weird) and walking out with nothing.

So then it was to Target to get the famous clippers (or they will be when the post goes up at The Zoo). And then I looked at the clock. I've only been out of the house for an hour and a half?! I can't surrender yet! I hate shopping and the mall makes me break out in hives so where will I go next? How will I make this brief recess last? I refuse to go to the grocery store. That's not recess.

And there it was. Beautiful B & N. Resist the urge to go snag a caramel machiatto. I was struck with some inspiration as I wandered through the stacks of books. There was a child laughing in the children's section and I thought, "I could use a good laugh!"

Tucked back in a corner there was the humor section. Entirely too small and not nearly enough copies of any one book for my tastes but at least it was still there. Smashed in behind the religious fiction and wedged in front of the "teach yourself to play the oboe" book.

So I started to scan the titles. An entire section of the shelf was dedicated to bathroom humor. You would think from the title of this blog I would be more appreciative but a whole rack of books about bathroom humor? I kept scanning. Now we come across Lewis Black and Dennis Leary and their cohorts railing against all things political. Here are two full racks of comic strips. I will not speak against them. My faves were there. Calvin and Hobbes, The Far Side, Baby Blues, Fox Trot and of course the Classic Peanuts. Bless you Mr. Schultz.

But just general musing about life humor was scarce. And then I saw them. Down on the bottom shelf in small pocket size paperback form were the four titles I was looking for. There was my muse for seven dollars a piece. Erma Bombeck. I picked up a copy and started to read and while I was not laughing out loud there was a poingnacy in her writing that made me smile. A real connection that just made me feel at home. A quiet humor that did not speak of bathrooms, or politics, or naked bodies (unless you count feet). It was not angry. It was not laced with foul language or explicit suggestions.

Call me old fashioned. Call me a prude. I'll wear both ideas with pride. Life is weird. It's strange and it's funny and when you really look at the nonsense that happens every day you have to laugh. You HAVE to. If you don't laugh about it your only other options are to get angry, give up, or cry. I picked one of the four titles out for myself and brought it home with me. Every time I pick it up I only allow myself to read one short chapter at a time. Like I'm savoring a bag of Lindor truffles one small bite at a time.

I have been inspired again. I have decided that how many posts I get out to you is not the critical part. I have to make sure that I make you laugh or at the very least, smile. I have to make people see that anger and vulgarity aren't necessary in life. There is enough ugliness in the world. It's time to laugh at just the general strangeness of it all.

You HAVE to laugh. You have to laugh because when you can laugh and you can share that laughter with other people, they get to laugh. Life is just too weird not to laugh and share the laughter.

You Know you Have an Awesome Friend When...

You say things like "I'm flushing because I just cleaned it; not because I used it" and A) they believe you. And B) They laugh.

You call them crying and end the call laughing.

You talk about nothing just so you don't have to hang up.

You don't even send an e-mail or look at the phone and they still know that you need them.

You can do a million things while they are trying to talk to you and they don't care about the interruptions. As a matter of fact they are comfortable enough to interrupt you back.

Just wanted to say Thank You in a big, public, embarassing way. Thank you.

Show me the Funny: A Dose of Bathroom Humor!

Now I know I gave you a bathroom theme this week but that was only for features. If you have another funny to share feel free to drop it in Mr. Linky! I could certainly use a chuckle after my Big Crash this week so bring it on! And now for my brave bathroom bloggers.

If you were curious as to why I am the only blogger on the planet who doesn't have a laptop, check out Karen's mini blogger. I'm pretty sure that is what Beloved is hoping to avoid.

Stephanie is giving you another glimpse into life at my house with her post about Sibling Cooperation. Don't think too hard about what COULD have happened. I think she's had enough of a cardiac workout this week.

And my pal Tu Tu came through in glorious fashion with a bathroom post not even remotely close to the bathroom! Maybe this one falls under "Kids Say!"

Did you come across some humor this week? Make sure you drop the link in Mr. Linky and share a giggle with the rest of us.

Remember! Live, Love and Laugh!

Show me the Funny! No holds barred edition.

Oh great fans of The Bowl. You have come through for me in such a grand fashion. I don't even know where to start. I sent out the call a little earlier this week and the response has been gut wrenching - as in no Pilates for me this week, can't breath, tears and snot rolling, laughing my butt off. (Which could be a good thing considering my Lenten Math.)

I believe I shall start with this little gem submitted by my own sister in response the train track post over at The Zoo last week.

My fabulous web designer Karen, shared a peek at Brotherly Advice gone Wrong and a great lesson in Men versus Women. I swear that brother thing could have happened at our house.

Or Sissy's house! Speaking of Sissy, she passed me two side splitters that she found this week. The first was a reflection on Tummy Tucks from The Mad Housewife, Jaci. The second was a new perspective on Spanx supplied by Her Nashville.

Hey Trisha! Did you get any glimpses of those while you were at Mom Summit? Now Trisha was very open that going to the conference last week was taxing on her but to make her brain create this take on (Mom) Blogging? {Some things are just too painfully true, you know!}

And finally my Utah contributor Trisha learned this week that she is raising a Milk Mooch. But when the Mooch takes the pants off her head she really does make a great princess don't you think? How could she not with Trisha as the Queen?

Want to play along with Show me the Funny? Snag the button over there and write your own post or drop a link in Mr. Linky (he needs a chuckle - ya'll work him too hard on Wednesday!)

Until next week, live, love and LAUGH!

Take a Laugh; Leave a Laugh!

Welcome to the first Show me the Funny! I am not one to play memes very often but since I made this one up myself I should probably play, right?

But Sarah, what IS Show me the Funny? It's a break from all the bummer news out there. It's a chance to laugh until you shoot stuff out of your nose. It's a reason to buy your keyboard a slicker. And it's a good workout for your abs.

So here's the deal. If you have stumbled across or written a good funny this week you post your link in the Mr. Linky at the end of the post. Should you write a piece between now and next Wednesday that you think is worthy of a feature on Show me the Funny! you e-mail it to me at ineedthezoo(at)yahoo(dot)com and I get to feature you next week. 'Cause we all know it's about the linky love, right?

Now let me share with you a few of the great funnies I came across this week!

I think we should all go thrift shopping with my pal Staci! She meets the most interesting people when she's Thrift Shopping!

Now CSI in training Jenna let school get the better of her but at least It Was Interesting!

I think Stephanie (who has given me awards before! See how that works?) is trying to cover her secret battle against the economy but I'll let her blame it on her kids this time. Just don't make Wishes while you're over there!

And if you thought my rant about spam was funny earlier this week you have to go check out Suzanne's inbox. That girl gets some seriously funny Spam!

Miranda the Cheerio Queen has come face to face with the Mother's Curse and survived to blog it - for now.

And finally (for now) Victoria is taking on Barbie! Well, her clothes at least!

What about you? Have you come across a funny that I don't have here? Please share it with me! I love to laugh! And I haven't done my Pilates yet today so you could really help me out. Add your link, leave love for all the wonderful folks who contributed, and Laugh!

Wanna play along? Grab the Show me the Funny button and add it to your funny post today. All I ask is that you tell folks where they can get their own.

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Show me the Funny!

Between stimulus packages and missing children and disease and genocide, it just seems that the world is nothing but bad news and dreary outlooks and miserable times. So I am on a mission. I love laughter. From grown people, from children, from anywhere! I want to share that laughter with my friends out here in bloggy land. To this purpose I am offering you a challenge.

As you blog hop and scroll through your readers I want you to make note of the particularly funny, hysterical, odd and just laughable posts that you come across. Write a few yourself if you like. I'm not picky. Then every Thursday we will have "Show me the Funny!" You can come back here and add your post or one that you have found to our linky. Of course I will be doing a round up of funnies that I have found through the week and will give you my top picks complete with linky love.

Maybe one day down the road I'll even give you a theme to go with it for your own post writing, but for now get out there and hunt up some humor for me! Show me the Funny! launches tomorrow!