Word-something Wednesday: Solar Powered!

Now really Wordless. Not really Wordful. So I'm Word Something today! Yup. Feeling pretty random. Let's talk.

Remember this picture from say January something?

That was me after a winter in the basement. Not pretty at all. Quite grotesque actually! I can admit it. I know what cave dwelling does for me.

Well, this is me now after a mere week of sunshine.

You can't really tell because of the web cam quality but I already have a jump start on my tan and I've lost 3 pounds of winter "fur" (at least that's what we'll call it).

Thank the Big Man upstairs for sunshine and potting soil. Too many more days of rain and gray and I might have actually gone round the bend! Think I can claim to be eco friendly if I myself am solar powered?

Geeze People! 600 miles an hour!

For the love of Pete! Airplanes fly between 500 and 600 miles an hour! I already Googled it; won the argument and put it to bed people!

So stop searching it already! Out of 20 searches on my blog 13 were for "how fast do airplanes fly" or some variation there of. We've settle dit now people. You have been enlightened and your life is complete.

Of all the things I have blogged in (almost) a year, that's the one that gets me traffic. A domestic dispute that was settled by Google. In-credible!

I guess it's all the international visitors trying to figure out how long their flight would be if they were coming to TP my front yard. I have added to my international appeal, you know! I am now scoring visits from such exotic lands as Ireland, New Zealand and Malaysia! Granted it's only been one at a time but hey! I'm out there.

My French pal showed up for a little bit a few weeks ago but I think they're still mad at me for making such a poor attempt at an accent. Did I mention that Egypt showed up on my radar? Think they would flee with flaming hair if I did the Watusi on video? I haven't figured out how to offend the Irish and the Australians yet because that would involve more Guinness than my little body can hold so they might just have to stay fans for a while.

I did laugh when I saw a visit from Great Britain. Think they might be mad at me for my Charles and Harry snipe?

The only international I'm a little worried about is the Iranian who stayed for a record 26 minutes and 37 seconds. Something tells me the Homeland Security Spies are going to be monitoring my posts for a while. The thing is that Iranian friend only visited 2 pages. What two posts could take you a half hour to read? I know I'm chatty sometimes (case in point) but a half an hour?!

Anyway, I've just destroyed a full minute of your life with my nonsense so you may feel free to join the internationals in TP-ing the yard. Times are tough. I'll take donations to my grocery budget anytime!

Because Losers are Awesome! That's Why!

I am a fan of Real Sports with Bryant Gumble on HBO. It really can be a fascinating show and some of the stories are AWESOME! But this month it just flat out ticked me off.

If you haven't seen it yet, and you get HBO you need to stalk for it. There is a story about The Banning of Dodgeball in schools. Yes, I know. Out of 33 followers and random readers from around the blogosphere, at least one of you has a horrible memory of dodgeball. Some of you have horrible memories of gym class and middle school in general. See a therapist. I'm not your go to on this one.

My problem wasn't so much the banning of dodgeball but the reasoning behind it. We don't want children to be scarred by losing. They need to participate in activities that will help them feel successful. Seriously? You can't let children lose at a gym activity?

But it gets worse. They showed further footage of a PE teacher training in which they were...Wait for it! Jumping rope. WITHOUT A ROPE!

Pick your jaws up people. It is real and I watched it twice just to be sure. They encourage children to use their imaginations for how many times the rope can pass under them. And why don't we use a real rope? Because we could trip ourselves and get hurt.

Which leads me to indignation #3. A school has also banned tag. They can only play "Shadow Tag" (step on the person's shadow to freeze/unfreeze them) because too many children were falling down and getting bruises and scrapes. In this economy you want to go a step further and put Band-Aid out of business? That's just wrong!

But no touch tag wasn't enough. Because things were so delightful (please pardon my sarcasm), they decided to ban touching at all. Air high fives. Air hugs. And no patting a friend on the back.

Wait. I'll be right back after I brush the vomit taste out of my mouth.

Who wants to make the first prediction as to what happens to these "Chronic Winners" when they don't get the job on the first job interview? What happens when they get dumped? What happens when they don't get into the school they want because their test scores aren't good enough?

And if we are eliminating everything that could cause injury, does that mean we are banishing all organized sports? No more Tee Ball. No more soccer. Do you have any ideas how many times I stopped a soccer ball with my face in gym class? My sister wore hockey ball badges on her shins for crying out loud! And that was only practice!

Why can't children learn dissapointment? Isn't it more important to teach them to handle losing with grace and sportsmanship than to pamper their egos and give them a false sense of self? Competition is real people. And some people win. And some people lose. It's how the losers handle it that determines their character. The same can be said of winners.

So suck it up. Take a ball to the head or the small of your back. Shake it off and be graceful about it.

If you can see through your swollen eye.

Two Cents Tuesday: A Good Crown and Good Drama

Tu Tu is only hosting Two Cents Tuesday on the first Tuesday of the month now but I couldn't resist my own little day today. I've been biting my tongue since I saw the video on my pal Nicolle's site yesterday (a few days late I know) but the firestorm is growing so I'll fan it a little.

Perez Hilton (what a way to start a post, huh?) was a judge for the Miss USA pageant this past weekend. Love him or hate him he's around because he's good drama. And he did his best work this past weekend. He asked "THE" question regarding the legalization of homosexual marriage of Miss California. She gave her answer based on her principles and her opinion - which by the way is what he asked - her opinion. A question that begins with "Do you think..." solicits an individual's opinion.

Now given the recent outcome of last year's election, don't you think he had a point in asking California? After Prop 9 and the backlash against Reverend Warren for supporting Prop 9 and all the media coverage that the issue got, I suggest that California was a target. Perez could have asked Vermont the same question but he didn't. He could have asked any one of the other 49 states but he fired it at California.

On top of that, don't you suppose maybe he might have had a clue what her opinion was? He was a judge. He's a media man. He's into publicity, drama and making waves. I would be willing to bet that he knew in advance what her opinion was and since she IS California used it to really fire things up.

Another point. Aren't the judges supposed to use the question and answer time to score based on poise, presentation and over all demeanor? Should her opinion have been held against her? Yes, she bobbled her answer a little but the way this is unfolding, it looks like it was her actual answer that cost her, not her carriage. So she doesn't support a cause held dear by a segment of the nation. If she had come out supporting homosexual marriage she would have alienated the other side.

Everyone is saying that she should have taken a more diplomatic path and skirted the issue altogether with a "let's leave it to the individuals of the states to decide." I say that was the coward's way out. It's that kind of pandering and waffling that has lead this country into a gray abyss of indecision. There is no moral standard anymore because it's all about not offending. It's all about everyone being what they want to be and no one can speak for or against because they will alienate, offend or hurt someone's feelings. No one will take a stand on a principle.

I applaud California, not just because I agree with her, but because she took a stand on national television. In all of her interviews since she has said that she would do it all over again and she is proud and comfortable with her decision. She hopes to lead people to take a stand.

But that's just my Two Cents! Weigh in. This inquiring mind wants to know. If you want to read the whole story (ABC's version) you can catch up here and get back to me.

Oh to be a Royal!

The cover of Parade this week posed the question "Do we need royalty in the 21st century?" I skipped the article because my brain was already going and I didn't want to muddle my thoughts. I'm such a responsible journalist, don't ya know!

Do we need royalty? Maybe not. I mean what do they do but wave and smile and serve a ceremonial purpose? But on the other hand maybe we do need them.

Who is the standard of proper behavior?

The Queen. Think about it. Anytime anyone visits her or if she visits the States like she did last spring, everyone is mindful of proper protocol, behavior and manners. You stand a little taller if The Queen is looking your direction. You make sure you scrub behind your ears if you are going to even be in the same state as The Queen.

I contend then that we do need the royals. We need the Queen anyway. Charles and Harry? Maybe not. William has been doing ok so far so we'll keep him around.

Perhaps it isn't the royals themselves that we need around but what they represent - a higher standard. Maybe we need people to expect more of one another. Maybe we need people to call one another out on manners and behavior more often.

But that would require people to stop being offended by every criticism. That would require people to acknowledge that not all behavior is acceptable. Folks would have to actually live like they had pride in themselves and cared about what other people thought about them. And not just on a superficial "how do I look" level. People would have to care if people respected them.

People would have to be willing to earn others' respect through respectable behaviors.

So you tell me. Can it be done? Can a higher standard be presented and grown? Will people actually start to put a napkin in their laps before they eat? Will they take their elbows off the table? Can sophistication and honor be restored?

Is there Any Justice in the World?

I am so confused about the American justice system right now.

For starters we live in Atlanta so the whole Michael Vick thing was a big deal. So was TI (the rapper in case anyone was under a rock). Well apparently now being a criminal is the thing to do if you are looking for career advancement and an income generator.

I was applauding TI for a while because he did the whole Road to Redemption thing on MTV (I think?!). It really DID look like he was trying to teach youth from his experience and I applauded that. He did the big community service before he even went to jail and now he is serving his sentence. It was the honorable thing to do in my book.

But now I was watching the news again and Michael Vick and Rod Blagovich are being offered reality TV series in conjunction with their new criminal status. Seriously? Is that justice? These guys commit crimes and they are rewarded with lucrative contracts for television. And why do I have a problem with them and not TI? Is it because TI did it BEFORE he went to jail? Of course I don't know what Vick or Blago are going to do as their series. Are they going to do a public service project like TI did? Or is it just going to be a series about them trying to get their lives back?

I just have issues with people being given a 10 year sentence and then they are released 2 years into it to serve a few months in "home confinement." For celebrities the latter is a complete farce considering what their "confined" lifestyle is like.

It comes as no surprise to me that Chris Brown is going to have a glorified lifestyle after the Rhianna incident. It seems to me that justice is a completely lost notion anymore. Individuals can't serve a full sentence because the jails are too crowded but we glorify crime via the celebrities (think Paris Hilton) and let criminals off with a slap on the wrist.

Maybe the time has come to reinstate a chain gang and bread and water. Maybe if hard time really existed for real crimes people would actually try to lead socially responsible lives.

Or maybe I was just born in the wrong generation all together.

See Alcatraz! When justice meant something!

Of Children, Curses and the Dishwater Sh**s

You filled in the missing letters right? Because I really try not to use language my children have to avoid and even though they have not mastered reading (at 2, 4, and 5), someday they will and I would hate for them to think me a hypocrite.

Did I have a point? Oh, yeah!

So we had our first delightful dinner of the outdoor season on the deck last night. It was splendid and everyone ate well and had fun. It was a Cleaver moment. Then it was time to clean up.

Wayne's World flash back with me, will you? When I was growing up I had a skill that very few have ever mastered like I did. I could always find a way out of doing the dishes and not just any way. I had talent. You had two choices. I could vanish into the bathroom and not come out for oh say, an hour or two. This worked particularly well on any night that had a dinner featuring Mexican, seafood, or cabbage.

And then there was option two. I would "clear the table" and by that I mean I would eat everything. Slowly. I didn't care what it was. I would dig the last pea out of the bottom of the tuna noodle casserole dish if that is what it took. In the meantime, my benevolent, forgiving, kind and gracious sister (who reads this blog) would have washed everything, wiped down the counters and swept the floor leaving me, my fork and the dish I was licking as the only things that still needed to be cleaned. And of course with the sink full of clean dishes they would air dry and be put away in the morning.

I had skills. I found out later that it is what my grandfather called - you guessed it, "The Dishwater Sh**ts."

Flash forward to last evening.

Beloved had two choices - clean something (table and dishes or children) or go to the wholesale club. Watch this unfold with me. He decided that he should go check out the hours for the wholesale club so he knew if he had enough time to do the whole shopping and get home in time for bedtime and tuck-ins. It's incredible that in all my surfing today (housework was light) the world wide web, my server and my modem were all cooperative and had incredible response times. And yet when Beloved tries to pull up one site, crash city. Things that make you go "hmmmm."

By the time I realized that he hadn't pulled out of the garage I had roped Mo into helping clear the table and had the two smaller children in the tub soaking off a layer of crud. So the kitchen was done and I was about to put the wraps on a round of baths. Somebody caught The Dishwaters.

They say The Mother's Curse only applies to children (One day you will have children just like you) but I beg to differ. I think the curse can come from anywhere. Oh, he may think he has skills but now he has tangled with The Master of the Dishwaters!

Dum. Dum. Duuuuuuum.