Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Bumper Sticker People

I know! Two vlogs in one day! But mainly because this was faster than trying to type it while Munch climbed all over me. And vecause I have pizza to make and drinks to mix. Happy New Year!! Be smart! Be safe and I'll catch you when I roll out from under the ball!

Wordless Wednesday

Showing me his muscles in his new "football gear."
Daddy's opinion of the football gear. (He's a Bills fan!)

Why do I feel like I might be sewing up some red and blue in the very near future?

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I'm a Little Weirded Out!

Peruvian Jesus born to Virgin Mary on Christmas

Mon Dec 29, 10:02 am ET Reuters

LIMA (Reuters) – Virgin Mary, a 20-year-old Peruvian woman, gave birth to a baby boy on Christmas day and named him Jesus, Peru's state news agency said on Friday.

The baby's father, Adolfo Jorge Huamani, 24, is a carpenter. Religious Peruvians compared him to Joseph the Carpenter in the Bible.

"Two thousand years later the story of Bethlehem is relived," read the headline about the birth in El Comercio, the main newspaper in Peru, a predominantly Catholic country.

The mother, Virgen Maria Huarcaya, delivered the 7.7 pound (3.5 kg) boy, Jesus Emanuel, in the early hours of Christmas at the central maternity hospital in Lima, the capital.

"A few days ago we had decided to name my son after a professional soccer player," the father said. "But thanks to a happy coincidence this is how things ended up."

(Reporting by Terry Wade; Editing by Vicki Allen)

So try to digest this. By coincidence, her name is Mary. He is a carpenter. And their son was born on Christmas.

I mean, sure why not name him Jesus Emanuel? I hope the children in Peru are kinder than the children in the States. That poor little guy would be in for some serious harassment don't you think? I think maybe they should have stuck with their original plan and named him after a soccer player but that's just my take. I'd love to know how you feel about it!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Pregnant for 20 years!

Arkansas family welcomes 18th child, a girl

Thu Dec 18, 8:46 pm ET

ROGERS, Ark. – An Arkansas woman has given birth to her 18th child. Michelle Duggar delivered the baby girl by Caesarean section Thursday at Mercy Medical Center in Rogers. The baby, named Jordyn-Grace Makiya Duggar, weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was 20 inches long.

"The ultimate Christmas gift from God," said Jim Bob Duggar, the father of the 18 children.
"She's just absolutely beautiful, like her mom and her sisters."

The Duggars now have 10 sons and eight daughters.

Jim Bob Duggar said Michelle started having contractions Wednesday night. She needed the C-section, her third, because the baby was lying sideways. Jim Bob said both baby and mother were doing well Thursday night.

"We both would love to have more," he said.

The cable network TLC broadcasts a weekly show about the Duggars, called "17 Kids and Counting." Chris Finnegan of TLC — which handles public relations for the Duggar family — said the show's name would be updated to account for the latest addition to the family. He said TLC also will air a show Monday on the baby's delivery.

Jim Bob Duggar is 43, a year older than his wife. Their oldest child, Joshua, is 20.
The other Duggar children, in between Joshua and Jordyn-Grace, are Jana, 18; John-David, 18; Jill, 17; Jessa, 16; Jinger, 14; Joseph, 13; Josiah, 12; Joy-Anna, 11; Jeremiah, 9; Jedidiah, 9; Jason, 8; James, 7; Justin, 6; Jackson, 4; Johannah, 3; and Jennifer, 1.

"Our whole family is excited about Jordyn's addition to our family," Jim Bob Duggar said. "She's just perfect in every way."

(This version CORRECTS the name of the Duggars' TLC show to '17 Kids and Counting,' not 'Seventeen and Counting.'))

I went to an engagement party a few weeks ago and was toasting my friends because 2008 is the first year in five that I have not been pregnant for some portion of the year. I was happy. I was elated, delighted and thrilled.

You understand that this woman has been pregnant for some portion of every year for 20 years. She's 42. Almost half of her life has been spent being pregnant.

I love children. Mine make me crazy sometimes and I threaten to sell them at least once a day (if not hour as it seems lately!) but I love them just the same. I even help friends out by taking care of their children on a semi-regular basis. I worked in a day care center for 3 years and was responsible for up to 105 children. It wasn't the best job but I had fun and enjoyed the parents.

But PREGNANT for 20 years?!?!?!?! And they would "love to have more." Really? I guess at this point it's not really that big of a deal because you have built in babysitters so you can get a break on a pretty regular basis.

Morning sickness. For 20 years. Thank you but no! But you tell me, why would YOU avoid being pregnant for 20 years? Or are there some of you out there who are all on board with this?

20 YEARS, people!!

Dear Mrs. Claus...

I am appealing to you this year because we all know who the REAL power behind the sleigh is. I have to applaud you. If your elves are operating on even a third of the obnoxious scale my own "elves" are you are the real Saint in your family. And to play host to 8 smelly critters? Because we all know that the mom is the one who feeds and cleans up after them. Just gotta say that YOU are my hero.

I need some advice. I e-mailed my wish list to Daddy-O and it got inadvertently deleted - at least that's the story he's sticking too. Then I went through the sale flyers and made him a pictoral list which I found buried under a pile of pocket lint this morning. And he dared to ask me what I wanted for Christmas this morning! I'm sure you, oh, keeper of the cocoa and gingerbread, know what I'm getting at. May I please leave my list with you?

#1. See those really great boots? May I have those in black please?
#2. Those sweater turtlenecks would be great. Green, red and cream colored please. And if you could grabbed a couple pairs of Levis to go with them that would be great too!
#3. The printer pooped out. I would love one that would print straight from my camera's memory card.
#4. So the dog (a Christmas gift from 8 years ago?) has chewed the crap out of my comforter. Could I possibly get a new set that goes with the new paint? Some nice throw pillows and art for the wall would be great!
#5. A couple of pullover hoodies would be wonderful. I've lost two zipper pulls from my favorite hoodies and, well, they are ancient.
#6 & 7. I am officially the last person on the planet to own some version of an Ipod. And if I'm going to have one it would be helpful if I had a base to plug it into so that our entertaining on the deck would be a little more interesting.

#8. How great would it be if I could gather live footage for you and the Big Guy for your naughty and nice evaluations next year? So the whole DVD Recorder would be awesome (and it would get me some real brownie points with the grandparents)!
And finally #9. Imagine how much more blogging I could get done with a laptop completely decked out with a web camand wifi!!!! I could take multitasking to a whole new level! And you of all people should recognize how important that is.

I really appreciate you taking time to look at this for me. I know you are an incredibly busy lady this time of year - what with boots to trip over and elves to herd from work shop to work shop. If the big guy can only squeeze in one or two of those I have to say that the laptop and printer would be at the top!

Merry Christmas Mrs. C! I appreciate you!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I Wonder if She's Married.

NY Giants need a sack—to cover fan’s racy outfit
As if the NY Giants weren't having a tough enough time of it with Plaxico's nonsense, now their fans have gone crazy too!

Dec 15, 9:17 am EST
New York Giants need another sack—to cover a flamboyant fan who wears skimpy outfits.

Sondra Fortunato went to Giants Stadium last week wearing a Santa Claus outfit, a tiara, fishnet stockings, a bathing suit bottom and high-heeled boots.

She also had a suitcase and two 11-by-17 signs reading “Go Giants” and “Have a No Guns Christmas,” referring to the team’s wide receiver shooting himself in the leg.

She insists nothing naughty was showing even though she’s “well-endowed.” As the middle-aged woman puts it, “You couldn’t even see my underwear.”

The Giants apparently saw it another way.

Security escorted her out, saying signs and baggage weren’t allowed and telling her to cover up because there were children present. She figures other women “got jealous and complained.”

Information from: New York Post,

Maybe I would feel differently if I was a rabid fan of a team. Sure she was showing her team spirit but what else was she showing? It's New York. In December. And she was in fishnets and a bikini bottom? Really? At least she was wearing boots! I'd hate for her to catch cold!

(You mean she looked something like a Santa version of THIS?)

I'm a little disturbed that she didn't buy the "children present" reasoning for asking her to cover up or leave. Why do women always go for the "they are all jealous of me" reasoning? Are we really that egotistical? Or are we that shallow? Or are we that insecure that we have to dress like tramps to get attention and then when we embarass the fool out of ourselves we have to get defensive and blame it on someone else?

And what about those men that you see at EVERY game (college or pro) who feel the need to inflict their guts and other body parts (you've seen the droopy drawers - don't deny it!) on us in person or on live TV? Were they asked to put clothes on? Were any of them escorted from the game? Just because they can doesn't mean they should. And what happened to the rule "what's good for the goose is good for the gander"?
One final rambling from my little blue bowl I call a brain. What in the world is with the fan costumes anyway? I'm all for folks wearing a jersey or team gear but do they really need to go THAT far? What does it have to do with football? And what about the people around you? Do you think all of them want to be staring at your garish attire for 4 hours while you get loaded and do everything you possibly can to get on TV so that you can call your buddies at the bar who weren't "lucky" enough to get tickets and scream (unintelligibly) "DID YA SEE ME?!?! DID YA? WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

I think this is the first time I've heard of a woman going all out (maybe literally - there wasn't a picture with the article!). And I don't remember ever really seeing women on TV all decked out in the nonsense. I'm wondering if it's a guy thing and maybe she was just trying to find a fan soul mate.

Maybe I should just come to grips with the fact that I'll never really get it.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I'm Confused.

Yeah, I know that comes as a news flash to everyone. (Insert sarcasm here!) But I really am confused. Now I don't claim at all to be incredibly informed about the whole bailout issue. I am one of those slacker Americans who doesn't get incredibly involved in politics, and I remembered just enough economics to pass my 10th grade Civics class and balance my checkbook. So if anyone can enlighten me a little more - in a constructive way - I would love it.

The banks and mortgage companies made some really bad decisions and made loans that they never should have made. Then they played Russian Roullette with them selling them over and over and creating one ginormous mess when people suddenly couldn't pay. They were given a $700 BILLION bailout. Our good friends at AIG took their bailout money and went on a vacay to the spa under the name of leadership training. No one required that these companies show what they were going to do with the money. No one is making them account for the funds they are given. No one required that those CEO's and CFO's and COO's made huge changes to cut costs and put a infinitely better business plan on paper much less into action.

Now we have Detroit asking for much less help. They too have made some really stupid mistakes by not being pioneers on the energy revolution front. They have bowed to unions and have put a lot of money in their own pockets as well. The unions have run their own companies into the ground and don't really seem to be trying too terribly hard to help out right now. Our government turned Detroit down. Big old "rejected" on that application and a severe tongue lashing for showing up at their hearing in private jets. Detroit went home with their tail between their legs and took their time out to honestly think about what they had done wrong.

They came back with an apology and a detailed plan of what steps they were taking, what steps they would take and what they would do with their money should they get it. They even carpooled this time. They got the big red stamp again.

Before someone one jumps on me for supporting the government's involvement in business, let me tell you that this is not my point. I don't want government involved in business except to make sure that things are run ethically and responsibly via laws. What I DO want is for people to actually look at the ripple effect.

You let the automakers fail and the folks on the line lose their jobs. The folks who work in the electronics factories lose their jobs because they don't need to make car stereos anymore. The people in the upholstery sector lose their jobs because there are no seats to cover. The machinists in the nut and bolt factories lose jobs because what are they putting together? This isn't even looking at the sales force that now has no product. Do you supposed Capitol Hill looked at these factors?

They gave the banks money so that they could help people stay in their homes. Well, guess what guys? If those folks don't have jobs, you can throw all the money in the world at the banks and they are still going to lose their homes, and food, and clothing.

I'm confused. I don't understand why the rules are different for white collar versus blue collar. I don't understand how you can give so much money to one group and require little to no accountability, but you can't give money to the group who has just given you every detail they can possibly provide. Especially when the second group has such a direct and monumental impact on the voter you are supposed to represent!

The CEO of Ford is working for $1. Not he's not going to starve thacks to all his years at the top but he made a personal cut to show his sincerity. AIG dude let his crew go to a spa. I just don't get it.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Wordless Wednesday (Bowl Style!)

Eeeeek! I can buy it? I can REALLY buy it? Eeeeek!!
You saw this right? So he's selling the famous glove and the gates to Neverland. And other 80's children just a little saddened by this? My how the mighty have fallen.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

You Have GOT To Be Kidding Me!!

This is too insane even for me. Parents of teenagers pull them close and read this to them. I mean it! You are about to read some information that they need just as much as you.

"The kiss of deaf - Chinese man ruptures girlfriend's eardrum

BEIJING (Reuters) – A young woman in southern China has partially lost her hearing after her boyfriend ruptured her eardrum during an excessively passionate kiss, local media reported Monday.

The 20-something girl from Zhuhai, in southern Guangdong province, went to hospital completely deaf in her left ear, the China Daily said, citing a report in a local newspaper.
"The kiss reduced pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear," the paper quoted a doctor surnamed Li from the hospital as saying.

The woman's hearing would likely return to normal after about two months, Li said.
"While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution," the paper said.

(Reporting by Ian Ransom; Editing by Nick Macfie)"

No kidding! I just pulled this straight from Yahoo News.

Gives a whole new meaning to "sucking face" doesn't it? The next time you have that obnoxious couple in front of you in the theater or the amusement park line you may share this information with them.

But here's my deal. Did I really read that doctors in China just issued a caution to go with kissing?! Seriously? This could change the landscape of sex ed classes the world over. And to think we used to be just afraid of STD's. Now we get to panic everytime we try to make out with our significant others.

Happy making out! But be safe about it - This Public Service Announcement brought to you by your friends at The Zoo and The Bowl.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

9 year old Casanova!

This video is almost 6 minutes but if you have time you have to watch this kid! But even better watch Meredith. She is almost taken back by him because he is so incredibly charming. I think I might be a little smitten with him!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Almost Wordless Wednesday!

Bill! What are you thinking?

(President-elect Obama and Commerce Secretary nominee Bill Richardson)

PLEASE grow your beard back!!

Or at least try to lose one or two fo those chins.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Can Anyone Spell B-R-A-T?

I am having some trouble trying to decide if I should laugh or if I should be disturbed about how coddled this child must be!
An eight year old (I'm thinking third grade?) German boy stole his teachers keys, fired up her compact and crashed it into a Volvo. Why? Because his teacher sent him out of class and he was going home to tell Mommy! Now I have an imagination but even I can't make this stuff up!!

When I was eight I was still learning to ride my bike. If I was acting up so bad that I needed to be sent out of class, my parents were the last people I wanted to see!

*But this child steals his teacher's keys. Yeah, that morals lesson stuck!
*He tries to drive her car. Because his parents have taught him so much about safety and endangering others!
*And he's doing it all because he's going home to whine to Mommy about being treated unfairly? Good job on teaching your child consequences!

Over $10,000 in damages were done. In my house that child would never have an allowance again! And you know he wasn't covered by his parents' insurance.

But let's look at this again. How in the world did this child get out of the school without someone noticing? How long do you think it's going to take for someone to sue the school for negligence? And how much do you think they'll win?

The world has gone mad I tell you! Mad!!

Monday, December 1, 2008

A New Meaning to Black Friday

You didn't think I missed the whole "Stampede Someone to Death for a TV" story from WalMart?

Oh no! My poor father took my rage on that one! You saw it right? A 34 year old temp maintenance employee happened to be the poor chap who opened the doors on Friday. Think that might have been a short straw moment?

It wasn't enough that these crazed maniacs tore the door off the frame! No, they stomped a man to death, knocked down a woman who was eight months pregnant and when other workers tried to help they roughed them up too.

I was shocked and dismayed at this much of the story but then I hit "Read full article." The shoppers complained and refused to leave the store when management tried to close. Are you kidding me? You waited all night by choice. You stomped a man to death. And now you can't stop shopping long enough to let them at least clean up the mess you made? Seriously?

I understand that the economy is tough right now and that no one has a lot of money to spend. I get that sales are important this year. I also understand that some of you are psychotic enough to shop on Black Friday. I get it that Wally World had some good deals.

But you kill a man for a TV! And then you complain because you have to stop shopping! I can't even begin to tell you how enraged I was at the human race Friday evening when this story came up. But I am getting even angrier as I realize that the chances this man's family is going to have any kind of justice is next to nil. They can enhance and study that security tape all they want but the chances that they are going to be able to bring anyone up on charges is next to nothing.

So his children (if he has any) get to look at a tree this year that probably won't have many (if any!) presents under it thanks to funeral costs and their father being gone! They also get to look at an empty seat at the dinner table and a missing stocking over the fireplace. But let's be clear. They won't just do this THIS year. They get to do it every year from here on out.

I hope you enjoy your TV. Perhaps you could send the widow the money you saved. Oh but wait; that would require you to act like a human!