When People Crash into your Life

It happens to be my first day back from Spring Break so this is not my normal humor laden, roll 'em in the aisles but I hope to get back to that soon. Just some brain junk.

I was in a fender bender Friday evening. I was stopped on the road outside our neighborhood waiting to make a left turn into the subdivision when I saw a car bearing down the hill on me. I could tell that the driver had no idea I was stopped and saw a line of cars right behind her. My father and Munch were in the van with me so my brain kicked into over drive.

Words out of my mouth:

"She's not slowing down."

"She's going to hit me."
"SHE'S GOING TO HIT ME!"

Thoughts in my brain (proof that my brain works faster than my mouth):

"She's not slowing down."
"She's going to hit me."
"I need to gun it."
"Maybe I can get away from her if I gun it NOW!"
"Why won't my foot move?"

"There are cars behind her!"
"I don't want her to get hit too!"

"I have to gun it for both our sakes."
"Munch brace yourself."
"Dad, brace yourself."
"My foot still isn't moving!"
"Move you stupid foot!"
"Finally! I'm moving forward!"

"But not fast enough!"

BOOM!

You know the sound. You can be sitting in traffic and you hear "that" sound and you know that someone just got pegged. Because I was moving forward to get out of her way, the damage was minimal. My sweet father waited for traffic to clear and then got us steered out of the way so that we wouldn't cause any more trouble.

She gathered her information and got out of her car. I got out of the car and then I said the words that broke her heart. "Dad, can you take Munch up to the house?" Her eyes went to tears immediately. And my heart broke. Something told me that there was more to this than just a fender bender.

We exchanged information and I tried to console her but there was pain there. I had a terrible time shaking the whole incident off but not just because of the jitters that always come from an accident. There was something else.

Saturday Beloved called her just to make sure he had complete information before he called the insurance company and had a little conversation with her. She's a single mom of two who just had to take a pay cut to even keep her job. Beloved and I were both affected so when he called he asked the insurance company if this incident would affect her in any way. We would forego the claim if it meant she could keep her premiums and coverage low. They assured us that she would be unaffected so he went ahead and filed.

But she's still in my head. There are real people caught in this economic crisis and for all of my railing about government bailouts and what is fair and what isn't fair the bottom line is that no one can help us but us. Beloved and I aren't free and clear of the crisis but we have each other. We aren't facing it alone. If we can help just by offering not to file an insurance claim then we can help. If I can make a meal for a neighbor in need, I can help. If I can just help with someone's yard work so they don't have to pay a landscaper, I can help.

In times like this I think we would all do well to look at what we can DO. I think we need to look at every day events as opportunities. If just a few people start to look outside of themselves, perhaps this crisis can become our nation's salvation.

You Know you Have an Awesome Friend When...

You say things like "I'm flushing because I just cleaned it; not because I used it" and A) they believe you. And B) They laugh.

You call them crying and end the call laughing.

You talk about nothing just so you don't have to hang up.

You don't even send an e-mail or look at the phone and they still know that you need them.

You can do a million things while they are trying to talk to you and they don't care about the interruptions. As a matter of fact they are comfortable enough to interrupt you back.

Just wanted to say Thank You in a big, public, embarassing way. Thank you.

Journey on a Winding Road: Looking out the Window.

Yesterday was a brutal day for me. Pretty much moving from one piece of crummy news to another. I would no sooner get myself put back together and start to lose the red rings around my eyes than the next phone call or the next piece of news would come down. It was one of those days that should have put me into a total and complete tailspin. But it didn't.

Something very odd and unexpected happened in the middle of my day. A person who I have barely known a week sent me an e-mail. It started with "I don't know why I am telling you all of this but somehow I feel like maybe you can help." The story went on and as I read I knew where she was coming from and the response came flowing out without any fight or doubt that it was the right answer for her and where she was. When I was done and hit the send button, I sat back in my chair and...smiled?

That didn't make any sense! I was having one of the worst days in several months and I should have been absolutely miserable. I should have been angry that someone dared to need me. I should have been hopeless and should have had a response along the lines of "You think you have problems! Let me tell you MY story." But it wasn't there. Never for a minute did it occur to me to think, "Good. I'm not alone in being miserable." Instead I just wanted to encourage and help that person with what they were going through.

For ten minutes I was free of my own issues and I was helping someone. And it made me happy. It made me remember my purpose.

I know that my problems are still here and I know that they aren't going to go away just because I'm ignoring them and distracting myself with encouraging others. But they are somehow a little easier to handle when I don't wallow in them.

In my message to my friend yesterday I wrote things that spoke to me too. Maybe if I take my own medicine, this journey will be a little easier.