Musings from the Mud.

God bless Noah's wife. That poor woman must have been just about out of her gourd when the 40 days were up. A - she had to live on a boat. B - that boat was filled to the rafters with critters of every shape and size. C - she was locked in with her family and with 3 boys I'm sure there were some fights going on.

(Our downspout beside the garage)

*Editorial note - I apologize for the quality of the pictures. I took them with the Crackberry and it was during the torrential downpour phase so they are blurred from rain and grainy from the camera.*

I'm just sayin'. We've had 10 days of steady rain and I'm about out of my gourd; 4 times that?! She should be sainted. Here at Zoo Suburbia we managed to avoid any severe impact from the disaster that is Georgia right now. We had a little water in our garage where the footer drains got overwhelmed but that was it. Our neighbors? About 4 inches of water in their basement. (The water that ran around the neighbor's basement)

Yes, these are the neighbors who just bought the house. We called the old neighbors and they lamented the fact but were eternally grateful that they weren't there. The neighbors two doors down? Watched as two feet of water poured into their basement. Their front yard sits right over the storm drain so they were the lowest point on our side of the street and were bound to get something.

(The water that was headed to the storm drain in front of Neighbor #2)

But while we are on the subject...My hubby is a nut job. Love him but he's a total nut job. All day yesterday I was checking in with him and he kept saying, "It's just rain!" Like I was some kind of over reacting basket case who needed to be committed. (Pass on that if you know what's good for you!!) Then he came home and was just amazed by the pictures on the news and was gushing about how the river was swollen to the bottom of the bridge and how there were trees down on side streets around our area. Did I act like he was an over reacting basket case who needed to be committed? No. I did not. But I DID give in to the temptation to say, "It's just rain!"

The wee ones are home from school today while folks try to clean up and the waters recede some. And as a result I have decided that Gilbert Godfrey will forever be banned from this house. They were chilling out watching Thumbelina and of course he does the voice of some beetle in the movie. A - that's grating enough. But then B came down. Everything they said had that shrill nasaly whine of his even if they weren't trying to. It was like some subliminal something crawled into their voice box and MADE them talk like that. I wanted to stab my ears with the potato peeler. No more Mr. Godfrey. Even typing his name makes my head throb.

And of course with everyone home, I'm all out of whack. I walked around in a circle in the kitchen this morning completely unable to even think about what I was doing much less get anything accomplished. That definitely added to the headache factor.

The sun has finally decided to let us know that it didn't burn out completely so I might try to venture to the grocery store to get some brown sugar for some caramel crunch mix. But that would involve getting out of my jammies. Hmmmm...I wonder if it's worth it.

Thursday Thirteen

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

What a bogus question! If you had asked me six years ago where I would be in five years, I certainly would not have given you a pitcure of the adventure I am currently on. So here it is; today's...

Thirteen Things that can Happen in Five Years

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You can gain 28 pounds.

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You can have three children.
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You can move two times.
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You can own five cars.

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You can paint three rooms four times.
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You can celebrate 18 birthdays.
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You can carve 15 pumpkins.
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You can host two "big" parties.

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You can enjoy three real Christmas trees.
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You can take 3, 000+ pictures.
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You can cook ten turkeys.
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You can bake a million cookies.
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You can fall in love four times.

It's Called a What?

Oh, that's right! It's called a dish - WASHER! Silly me!

Now I am not one to lose my mind and rip off a good vent unless someone has pushed me. Well, guess what? That's a hand print in the middle of my back!

After church yesterday I made a dash out to the grocery store with the girls so that I would be able to combine trips. (By the way, don't come to GA if you are looking for gas. We don't have it! Another day for that one.) I called home to see if Beloved wanted something special for lunch while I was out and got the following lecture.

B: No. I'm fine. And that was the end of the call. But no sooner did I put my phone back in my purse than it was ringing again.

B: Can you do something for me?

Me: Oh, you decided what you want?

B: No. I don't want anything. But will you please wash the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher? I'm cleaning up the kitchen (wait for me to pick myself up off the floor) and there are dishes in here with little bits of food all over them.

Me: Are you kidding me? This rhetorical question asked so incredulously was answered with a three minute lecture about how it's hard on the dishwasher to have to clean food off of dishes and how our dishwasher (which is run a minimum of twice a day) is going to start drawing bugs.

The lecture would have lasted longer but I oh so politely excused myself from the conversation (ok, so I hung up on him!) and went about my shopping. Now this has had time to simmer in me and it's getting a little like a bad pot of chili. I keep getting hotter and hotter.

It is called a dish-washer. I put dish detergent in it. The argument is that it only serves to sanitize the dishes. Then why is NO ONE using actual soap and scrubbing on the dishes before they go in? Why am I not buying a sanitizing rinse to put in there instead?

I rinse the dishes before they go in so they are food free. Sure there are specks of ketchup left behind sometimes but it's a dish WASHER! And maybe I would be able to shake it off, but my darling Beloved has found a way to effectively restrain his cleaning urges. Yes, I have said the phrase "lift your feet" to him when vacuuming. So now he suddenly can tell me that I am going about things the wrong way?

Has he avoided eating off of dishes I have loaded in the dishWASHER my way? Nope!

Has he come down with some flesh eating virus he ingested from my dishes? Not yet!

Has the exterminator moved into the playroom? Absolutely not!

So what is the major malfunction? After lunch today I intentionally put a peanut butter covered bowl in the "dish sanitizer" just to get his goat when he gets home from work tonight. Tomorrow it's going to be a plate slathered in mustard and egg stuff. That'll teach him!

Anybody Want to Make a Bet?

That shining day in every woman's year is fast approaching. As I cringed and braced for the impact this morning, I remembered to call my hubby and ask him to mark it on his calendar. I specifically scheduled it for his day off so that I would not be taking the children with me. The doc saw enough of them when he delivered them; he does not need to see them any more. On top of that four, three and one and a half is way to early to be that familiar with where you came from.

There are still three weeks between me and That Day but I knew if I failed to make Beloved's calendar now I would be up a creek with a very odd looking paddle. I will remind him again next week and the week after. I will remind him the Friday before and again the day before.

How much to you want to bet that he schedules a client for eight that morning knowing full well that my appointment is at nine? Will he do it on purpose? Who knows. But I am almost guaranteed that he WILL do it.

I have no earthly idea why he does these things to me. He did it with Mo's dentist appointment. He has been known to do it with almost every well visit for the last year and a half. Is he mad at me? Am I not "loving" him enough? Is he REALLY that determined that he wants another baby? I would be happy to do penance for all of that if he would just once spare me the stress of last minute baby sitters or a touring three ring circus when the sitter falls through.

Just in case I win this bet I had better go start lining up a sitter. Ugly Tuesday will be here before I know it.

I hate thinking!

It really sends me into a tailspin most times. Today's Thought from the Toilet Bowl.

What would my hubby do if something happened to me? And I wasn't even thinking big "something;" I was just thinking broken arm or leg "something."

He was home today. I tidied pretty much the whole house before he even got out of bed. That's kitchen, livingroom, 2 bathrooms, nursery and kids' room. I was on my way to the playroom when he poured his first cup of coffee and was done vacuuming and had started shampooing the carpet by the time he got out of the shower. 2 loads of laundry had been washed and all the children were fed, breakfast cleaned up and beds all made.

It was at this point that he asked what he could do to help. Really? You are offering to help? Wow!! I suggested that maybe he could get a rag and clean up the funk on the armchair and the chaise. Nah, I don't really know how to do that. Well, you could fold the laundry that is all over our bed. His look said, "Maybe in my next life when I come back as you."

So he went to the computer and started to read the news. Now don't get me wrong. I love my hubby and he works very hard for his home and his family. I wouldn't even dream of doing his job. My point is that he hasn't paid the first bill since 2003. He hasn't had all 3 children by himself for more than 3 hours without one of them napping. He hasn't done housework in the last 5 years and only did laundry while I was on vacation at my parents' because he ran out of boxers and t-shirts.

Now the problem here is that I blame myself. I am a workaholic and as such when I stopped working outside the home 16 months ago I had too much time on my hands. Therefore it was no problem to juggle everything and play little June Cleaver. But should anything even minor happen to me what would he do? Would he be able to manage getting everyone up and moving? Would he be able to juggle packing lunches and making dinner and changing diapers while taking out the trash and dressing a doll baby?

Or would I, workaholic that I am, figure out how to rig a garbage bag so that I could still wash the dishes, bathe the children and mop the kitchen floor without getting a cast wet? Would I type one handed to get all the bills paid? Would I rig up some elaborate system to get the laundry from point A to washer, dryer and done?

I guess the end question isn't "What would he do?" It's more "Would he HAVE to do anything?"

And that is your Thought from the Toilet Bowl.