The Siren's Call.

You know how I just went and made an "investment" in a top of the line vacuum yesterday?  Well, today I started taking measurements and pricing flooring for hardwoods.  There is a very good chance my hubby's head could explode this week.  That's what he gets for trying to take over my kitchen!

On the upside, the vacuum handles all floor types so it won't be a complete loss.  And we're not doing the whole house; just the main rooms and the hall.

Anyway, looking at the hardwoods online got me started again.  It's all tongue and groove.  Couldn't I tackle one room at a time and install it myself?  I can wield a hammer and I got power tools for my birthday.  I don't think this is beyond me.

But then I realized that there is no way hubs is going to let me tackle that project.  So what is my counter project that I use to still be allowed to do home improvement?  The boy's room is in need of some real work.  Here's the plan.  I tell him he has two choices; I can take on the hardwoods or I can paint Tuck's room.  I figure Tuck's room will get done because it's definitely less expensive and there won't be power tools involved.

If all else fails I'll put re tiling the kitchen on the list.  At least then he'll have to stay out of the kitchen!

On a side note, we are not the proud parents of Max the poodle yet.  We're still waiting to see if the dog is officially up for adoption.  I have also learned that Max has a mohawk.  You can only imagine my delight at that information.  Maybe making my hubby's head explode isn't such a bad idea after all.

There is a Chance that I am NOT a Good Person.

It's just a chance but you need to weigh in.

Our neighbors have been trying to sell their house for over a year now. They finally got an offer and it was all looking like a done deal. They even spent the weekend packing up their stuff and arranging for a POD to store things in until they found their new house. Yeah, it sold faster than they thought this time.

I was not thrilled about them moving. They are awesome friends and neighbors (so it's obviously not the one I was whining about the other day). And they were getting ready to start a family so I was all excited about helping her out. To find out they were moving was a real bummer but I was holding out hope that the new neighbors would be just as awesome.

I was supposed to go help her pack this morning so that they could load the POD but the POD was no where to be seen. Turns out she cancelled it.

The lending for the buyers fell apart last night. This is where I turn into not such a good person. When Neighborette told me what happened I smiled. I was actually a little gleeful. That's just wrong of me! They want to move. And the new couple sound like they are really nice and sweet. The buyers are getting married in June so now the bride is stressing about losing a house that they fell in love with and planning a wedding! I feel really bad that I was gleeful about the situation.

I just love my neighbors!! I know. I'll love the new neighbors too. But you have to understand it takes a lot for me to open up to strangers. This is a big deal for me!

Just the same I had better start hoping for the best for these buyers because I wouldn't want my friends to be unhappy, right? But she said moving away from us was the hardest part of moving! So maybe she doesn't really want to move either? And they haven't found a new house yet.

I don't know how much longer I can handle this! Maybe I should move!!

It's not like the new folks will be living next to this.
At least not ALL the time!

28 Years.

You all saw the big headline of the week, right?

Your hero and mine, Mel Gibson, is getting a divorce after 28 years of marriage. Twenty-eight years in Hollywood to be specific. And you know what is getting press? Apparently there is no prenuptual agreement. That means his wife gets to file for up to half of everything he has ever made since they married in 1980.

You know what? I'm not surprised there was no prenup.

A) It was the 80's. Seriously. Who was thinking straight in the 80's to begin with? Everyone was either coming down off of the highs of the 70's or they were dressing ridiculously and getting high with the "new" drug cocaine.

B) More specifically it was 1980. An actor was elected President of the United States. The US beat Russia in the gold medal round of Olypic hockey. What could possibly go wrong in this state of life?

C) He and his wife are both Catholic. That's a lifetime thing. There is no escape clause in Catholic marriage so who would have expected to ever need one?

And D) Of the 6 movies he had done in his career, only Mad Max had amounted to anything. Who was he to know what a superstar he was to become? He was 24 for crying out loud! What kind of decisions did you make when you were 24? I was 26 when I got married - I wasn't thinking the straightest during those days. (Not referencing my marriage at all by the way but other decisions I made between 24 and 26.)

What bothers me is that ofter 28 Hollywood years they are throwing in the towel. 28 Hollywood years! Do you know how long that is to the rest of us? It's like dog years only in marriage! How do you arrive at divorce after 28 years of marriage in one of the most stressful environments for marriage? And with 7 children. That sounds like an awful lot to give up in my book.

Yes, I read the rest of the news that they've been seperated since his looney DUI incident three years ago. And I guess if you can't work it out in three years you've given it a fair shake. I just don't know how I could do it.

But she sure is going to make out like a bandit, don't you think?

Two Cents Tuesday: Till Doritos Do Us Part

Tu Tu threw out a HUGE question today for Two Cents Tuesday. The topic is Infidelity. I am eternally grateful that this isn't even the shadow of an issue that I expect to ever deal with. But this is the second time a marriage question has come across my screen this week.

The first time it came from a thread in the Parenting.com forum. "What is harder - being a parent or maintaining your marriage?" So let me address both questions at the same time. My vote goes to marriage and here's why. When you become a parent it completely changes you. You can never do anything to stop being a parent. Never. Abandon your child. Give them up for adoption. Sell them to the circus. It really doesn't matter. You still feel that blood bond deep down inside. It's permanent.

And yes, I know that marriage is supposed to be the same way. "Supposed to." Unfortunately in today's society the theory just doesn't hold up to the practice. People will split over the most ridiculous things. Say a pack of cigarettes for example. That's right. He found out that she was smoking behind his back and now they've been divorced for a year.

She gives birth to three children and gains some weight that she just can't lose. He sees a sleeker, more toned model and he's gone. He gets demoted due to company cut backs and suddenly isn't bringing home as much money. She decides that she can do better and bails.

An argument over child rearing policies. Distracted by work, bills, housekeeping, soccer practice, gymnastics, and camping trips. People are all too willing to throw in the towel.

What does this have to do with infidelity? There are a lot of ways to cheat. It doesn't have to be just another man or woman. In my book anything that comes between two people can be a cheat. But there's the catch. Do you let it stay between you? Or do you resolve it, reprioritize and correct the situation? Too often I think people aren't willing to work to resolve.

And before someone jumps on me "But Sarah, not everything can be resolved" let me go ahead and call "BULL!" on that. It can be resolved. But BOTH people have to commit to resolving it. One can't fix it alone. One can't go 200% while the other goes nowhere.

Someone is going to call me out on domestic violence. Should someone stay in a violent situation? No. Absolutely not. But should they seek counseling, help and exhaust all rehabilitative options from two different locations before they give up? If both are completely committed to the rehabilitation isn't it possible that the situation could be resolved?

My mother said something in a church discussion once that has stuck with me in a HUGE way. Marriage is not a 50/50 deal. It's a 100/100 deal.

We have firmly established that I am a chronic optimist and I understand that the world isn't an optimistic place. But that doesn't mean that it couldn't be if more people would root themselves and stand for right, good and optimism. Our families depend on it.

But that's just my Two Cents. I'd love to hear yours! Let it fly here and then go study up at Jen's Place.

Tee Hee! He's Learning!

Beloved was scrolling through the pictures on the camera and came across the pictures from yesterday's Wordless Wednesday (the washers and laundry?) and never said a word. When I realized what he was doing I said, "Honey ignore those pics of the washer. I forgot to take them off."

"I'm really not worried about it. It was for the blog right?"

He gets me! He really gets me!

I hate thinking!

It really sends me into a tailspin most times. Today's Thought from the Toilet Bowl.

What would my hubby do if something happened to me? And I wasn't even thinking big "something;" I was just thinking broken arm or leg "something."

He was home today. I tidied pretty much the whole house before he even got out of bed. That's kitchen, livingroom, 2 bathrooms, nursery and kids' room. I was on my way to the playroom when he poured his first cup of coffee and was done vacuuming and had started shampooing the carpet by the time he got out of the shower. 2 loads of laundry had been washed and all the children were fed, breakfast cleaned up and beds all made.

It was at this point that he asked what he could do to help. Really? You are offering to help? Wow!! I suggested that maybe he could get a rag and clean up the funk on the armchair and the chaise. Nah, I don't really know how to do that. Well, you could fold the laundry that is all over our bed. His look said, "Maybe in my next life when I come back as you."

So he went to the computer and started to read the news. Now don't get me wrong. I love my hubby and he works very hard for his home and his family. I wouldn't even dream of doing his job. My point is that he hasn't paid the first bill since 2003. He hasn't had all 3 children by himself for more than 3 hours without one of them napping. He hasn't done housework in the last 5 years and only did laundry while I was on vacation at my parents' because he ran out of boxers and t-shirts.

Now the problem here is that I blame myself. I am a workaholic and as such when I stopped working outside the home 16 months ago I had too much time on my hands. Therefore it was no problem to juggle everything and play little June Cleaver. But should anything even minor happen to me what would he do? Would he be able to manage getting everyone up and moving? Would he be able to juggle packing lunches and making dinner and changing diapers while taking out the trash and dressing a doll baby?

Or would I, workaholic that I am, figure out how to rig a garbage bag so that I could still wash the dishes, bathe the children and mop the kitchen floor without getting a cast wet? Would I type one handed to get all the bills paid? Would I rig up some elaborate system to get the laundry from point A to washer, dryer and done?

I guess the end question isn't "What would he do?" It's more "Would he HAVE to do anything?"

And that is your Thought from the Toilet Bowl.