Bizarre News Wrap Up!

What would my triumphant return week be without a little T.B. Maid reporting?  Again if you have just joined us since my hiatus, this is the part of the blog where I go in search of all the absolutely absurd news I can find and make fun of it.  Brace yourself - this is when it gets (not so) good!

Here's a little tidbit I found today - Wacky crimes: The best of police blotters from Palm Beach County and the Treasure Coast
This is perfect!  It's an end of the month round up of all the loonies and their antics.  And the paper does it EVERY month.  How great is that paper!  You have to read through a few of these blurbs.  I think my personal favorite is the guy who ratted out his own weed operation - IN THE BUFF!

Here's a reason to clean out the car. - Bear crashes in runaway car
How do you explain that to your parents?  "I swear Mom! I parked the car right there!  Oh, look!  There it is...and a bear is eating the interior."  Better yet, how would you like to be the adjuster assigned to that claim?

This just strikes me as a bit gross. Churchill's dentures fetch nearly $24,000
Why in the name of dental floss would anyone want a pair of 60+ year old dentures?  Yes, Mr. Churchill was a fantastic man.  Sure World War II artifacts are cool.  Not sure this one is one of the cool ones.  But the bigger question is, how exactly does a pair of dentures correct a lisp?

And this one gives me some inspiration to keep working out.  Florida great-grandma takes a bite out of crime
She is 73 years old!  Not only does she have the gumption to bite the bad guy but she hangs on to a (I have to assume) speeding truck as it tears down the highway.  The last line got me - she almost lost a tooth.  Take that Churchill!  You're fancy pants bajillion dollar dentures can't do THAT!

And let's wrap up with one from right here in the neighborhood (ok, across town but when you read this you'll know why I'm ready to let them STAY across town).   Armored escort for Snellville's snail ornament
First we protest the snail as a mascot.  Then we buy Sunday liquor sales by telling folks they can have their snail if they pass the ordinance.  Now we will be providing an armored transport for snail ornaments to get to a...farmer's market?  Look at that Es Car Go!

So there you have it..all the news that SHOULDN'T have been reported!  But before I go, let's get a photo of the week, shall we?

Yes, those are safety pins but don't worry.  They're just glued on.  I have yet to figure out why but if anyone knows Lucy McRae of Australia, perhaps they could ask and get back to me.

This is T.B. Maid reporting.  May your water stay blue and always go down!

Two Cents Tuesday: TV, Bunk Beds and Wooly Mammoths.

It's that time of the week again. Time for me to give you my Two Cents and snag a few for myself over at Tu Tu's Bliss. Feel free to play along.

So The Great Tu Tu is letting us have a little free for all this week and that is exactly what you are going to get from me.

My Two Cents on Reality TV. Beloved got sucked into the Bachelor and After The Rose last night and it made me realize just how absolutely mind numbing television programming has become. Everything on TV is reality anymore. Biggest Loser, Dancing with the Stars, Survivor, SuperNanny, Wife Swap, Extreme Makeover, Bachelor, America's Best Dance Crew, American Idol, America's Got Talent and the one who started it all The Real World. And that's just a taste test!

So if we are so infatuated with "reality" TV why aren't we spending more time with one another and less time staring at the TV?

My Two Cents on Bunk Beds. These were designed as a parental torture device. Even if you DO manage to get them assembled properly the issues have only begun. Then you have to make the suckers and the top bunk is next to impossible. On top of that you have the unavoidable worry that someone (probably a friend from school) is going to fall out of the blasted thing and break a body part.

And of course there is waking one member up while not disturbing the other - that's just ridiculous. Especially if Top Bunker has decided to sleep against the back wall forcing you to stand on the bottom bunk to even reach a corner of the pajamas to drag the child to the front edge so you can oh so gently and kindly wake them up.

My Two Cents on Overly Large Stuffed Animals. They have no purpose. None. Don't buy a massive stuffed dog, tiger, giraffe, wooly mammoth, polar bear or other creature for your children or anyone else's for that matter. Cute for a while? Sure. But beyond that they really just become one more thing to trip over, drag from room to room, and move around.

It SOUNDS like a really great decorating idea. A jungle theme in the nursery is really set off by a 5 foot giraffe standing in the corner but eventually that child is going to grow up. When you were 16 did you have a massive stuffed animal in your room? What do you suppose happened to it? That's right folks. The great Fluff and Stuff in the sky.

But that's just my (6) Two Cents. Now if you don't mind I'm going to head over to Tu Tu's place and see if I can pick up a few more. May be a burger for lunch if I collect enough!