Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Under the Weather

*If you read from my Facebook page you may want to click through to the original post to get the full effect."

I woke up this morning feeling tired but otherwise ok. I got everyone out of the house safely and in a timely manner. Then I tried to do my workout and promptly got woozy, fell over from a Downward Dog, jumped up and heaved. Go ahead and laugh. I did while I brushed my teeth. I still haven't fully recovered so my day has been spent watching the Hallmark Movie Channel.

It's a veritable fountain of infomercials just screaming to be blogged!

There is so much to highlight in this one! For starters, the idea that a personal grooming product is referred to as a weapon does not conjure painless images in my head. Then you have the funky feet that they used to shoot this. Please tell me you were as grossed out by the calloused heel as I was. Maybe this is why I've been nauseous all day. And why exactly do I want two of these things? Do I really need to do both feet at one time? Somebody still has to paint the toes right? I studied the little attachment things and I didn't see a paint sprayer in there but I might have missed it.

But there's more! (Told you I've been watching all day.)

Boy I'm glad they included those other springs to provide different levels of resistence. I'm a little dissapointed in the bonuses. A carrying bag? That's it? But my hubby and I wanted his and hers. And how much can you put on a DVD to support a Thighmaster for your neck? Can you prop it between your shoulder and your ear to get an all around workout? Who wants to bet that the special cream is really just Vaseline intensive care lotion?

But call now and I'll double your order for FREE! Oh, and let's talk about that. They don't have to tell me "But Wait!!" I'm hanging on every word from the very start just to see what my bonus is at the end. It's like watching the roulette wheel. Am I going to get a double order or are they going to take money off? Are they going to send me a carrying case, video or special promotional umbrella made out of frog fur? The tension is palpable!

I remembered now why I don't watch daytime TV. Can't stand the recycled soap stories; don't feel like watching fake court and laugh entirely too hard at the infomercials.


Fer said...

Yes, the heel did gross me out. I didn't think I could make it through the whole informercial. I want to know what is preventing those women from BENDING THEIR LEGS!

There for a few days, at the gym a few of the TVs would be on infomercials. There are some curve control jeans out there that have a pretty ridiculous informercial. Half of the women come out of the dressing room exclaiming their excitment that they have junk in their trunk again! And I believe the term "unibutt" was coined too. Yeah.

Kerrie McLoughlin said...

you are so cute! you have to submit to parenting mags ... you have some great material, and humorous essays are always in demand! come see me again!

Shannon said...

Haha we saw the Neckline Slimmer the other day and where like "What?" lol