Under the Weather

*If you read from my Facebook page you may want to click through to the original post to get the full effect."

I woke up this morning feeling tired but otherwise ok. I got everyone out of the house safely and in a timely manner. Then I tried to do my workout and promptly got woozy, fell over from a Downward Dog, jumped up and heaved. Go ahead and laugh. I did while I brushed my teeth. I still haven't fully recovered so my day has been spent watching the Hallmark Movie Channel.

It's a veritable fountain of infomercials just screaming to be blogged!



There is so much to highlight in this one! For starters, the idea that a personal grooming product is referred to as a weapon does not conjure painless images in my head. Then you have the funky feet that they used to shoot this. Please tell me you were as grossed out by the calloused heel as I was. Maybe this is why I've been nauseous all day. And why exactly do I want two of these things? Do I really need to do both feet at one time? Somebody still has to paint the toes right? I studied the little attachment things and I didn't see a paint sprayer in there but I might have missed it.

But there's more! (Told you I've been watching all day.)



Boy I'm glad they included those other springs to provide different levels of resistence. I'm a little dissapointed in the bonuses. A carrying bag? That's it? But my hubby and I wanted his and hers. And how much can you put on a DVD to support a Thighmaster for your neck? Can you prop it between your shoulder and your ear to get an all around workout? Who wants to bet that the special cream is really just Vaseline intensive care lotion?

But call now and I'll double your order for FREE! Oh, and let's talk about that. They don't have to tell me "But Wait!!" I'm hanging on every word from the very start just to see what my bonus is at the end. It's like watching the roulette wheel. Am I going to get a double order or are they going to take money off? Are they going to send me a carrying case, video or special promotional umbrella made out of frog fur? The tension is palpable!

I remembered now why I don't watch daytime TV. Can't stand the recycled soap stories; don't feel like watching fake court and laugh entirely too hard at the infomercials.

Let's be Real!

Last night while I was cruising around Bloggy Land I started looking at some profile pics and of course thinking about mine. This is the large version of my profile pic.

Aren't we all so cute and pretty?

But see when I'm sitting here at the computer writing to you and cruising your pages, this is totally NOT what I look like. How about a good dose of reality this morning? Here's what you would see if you could look through your page and see me on the other side.

(Obviously, I don't look that bored when I'm on your page but the web cam was not cooperating this morning and I was annoyed.)

So let's study this for a minute.

A. That would be the ever present ball cap that stays on my head to hide the fact that I haven't showered or even glanced in the direction of a hairbrush in 12 hours.

B. Present from fall to spring, you are now seeing the very fashionable hooded sweatshirt (one of 3 options). This is used to mask exhibit D but we'll get to that in a minute.

C. Please notice the total lack of makeup and the glaring presence of dark circles and bleariness. I don't wear makeup except for church and the bleariness is courtesy of sleeping in my contacts yet again.

D. The syrup and jelly stained shirt. That I slept in.

And you people wonder why I don't vlog very often. I'm just saying. I'm very glad that blogging is something I can do with a computer screen between you and me.