You May Have Noticed

that my writing has slowed down a little lately.

I was losing my inspiration. I was tired of Bloggy Land and all the nonsense that goes with it. On top of that the entire family (dog included) managed to catch the flu. Add the financial crunch that everyone is finding themselves in these days and I just could not shake the funk.

So I took a day off. I went out after church and did some dream shopping for a laptop/netbook at Best Buy and priced the oh so necessary external hard drive. Not that the entire family who was all trying to look at the same box slammed right up against the shelf even noticed me on my tip toes trying to see price tags and sizes over their heads.

Then I headed over to JoAnn's to see if I could find a pattern for a skirt for Easter (only a month away! Eeek!) and ended up talking to my parents from the pattern counter (weird) and walking out with nothing.

So then it was to Target to get the famous clippers (or they will be when the post goes up at The Zoo). And then I looked at the clock. I've only been out of the house for an hour and a half?! I can't surrender yet! I hate shopping and the mall makes me break out in hives so where will I go next? How will I make this brief recess last? I refuse to go to the grocery store. That's not recess.

And there it was. Beautiful B & N. Resist the urge to go snag a caramel machiatto. I was struck with some inspiration as I wandered through the stacks of books. There was a child laughing in the children's section and I thought, "I could use a good laugh!"

Tucked back in a corner there was the humor section. Entirely too small and not nearly enough copies of any one book for my tastes but at least it was still there. Smashed in behind the religious fiction and wedged in front of the "teach yourself to play the oboe" book.

So I started to scan the titles. An entire section of the shelf was dedicated to bathroom humor. You would think from the title of this blog I would be more appreciative but a whole rack of books about bathroom humor? I kept scanning. Now we come across Lewis Black and Dennis Leary and their cohorts railing against all things political. Here are two full racks of comic strips. I will not speak against them. My faves were there. Calvin and Hobbes, The Far Side, Baby Blues, Fox Trot and of course the Classic Peanuts. Bless you Mr. Schultz.

But just general musing about life humor was scarce. And then I saw them. Down on the bottom shelf in small pocket size paperback form were the four titles I was looking for. There was my muse for seven dollars a piece. Erma Bombeck. I picked up a copy and started to read and while I was not laughing out loud there was a poingnacy in her writing that made me smile. A real connection that just made me feel at home. A quiet humor that did not speak of bathrooms, or politics, or naked bodies (unless you count feet). It was not angry. It was not laced with foul language or explicit suggestions.

Call me old fashioned. Call me a prude. I'll wear both ideas with pride. Life is weird. It's strange and it's funny and when you really look at the nonsense that happens every day you have to laugh. You HAVE to. If you don't laugh about it your only other options are to get angry, give up, or cry. I picked one of the four titles out for myself and brought it home with me. Every time I pick it up I only allow myself to read one short chapter at a time. Like I'm savoring a bag of Lindor truffles one small bite at a time.

I have been inspired again. I have decided that how many posts I get out to you is not the critical part. I have to make sure that I make you laugh or at the very least, smile. I have to make people see that anger and vulgarity aren't necessary in life. There is enough ugliness in the world. It's time to laugh at just the general strangeness of it all.

You HAVE to laugh. You have to laugh because when you can laugh and you can share that laughter with other people, they get to laugh. Life is just too weird not to laugh and share the laughter.

Real Housewives, My Big Apple!

Do they really want me to refer to all these women as "real housewives?" And why is my husband the one in this house that keeps getting sucked in?

Real Housewives of Orange County, Atlanta, and now New York. I don't know what annoys me most. That they have their own show to show off their self indulgence, egotism, cattiness and nonsense, or that they refer to themselves as "housewives."

I am a housewife. I scrub toilets, wash dishes, mop floors and take out the garbage. I rake my own leaves, do my own interior decorating, and haven't gone shopping in almost a year. The last manicure I had was for my sister in laws wedding (right after I went shopping) and the last meal I had in a restaurant was before Christmas. I pack lunches and cook for my family. A dinner party at my house involves a grill and aluminum foil.

And all of that annoys me because these "housewives" do none of that stuff - at least not on camera, which leads me to believe that they don't do it at all.

But let's address Beloved's bizarre ability to find it everytime it's on. I don't know how it happens but I promise you the only time he lands on Bravo is if it's West Wing or Real Housewives. Could he land on the Johnny Depp episode of Inside the Actor's Studio? Of course not! Does he change the channel as soon as Inside the Actor's Studio comes on? Yes. But if I even look cross eyed at the remote while his Housewives are one he gets all twitchy.

He's going to have my hide for outing him like this

but I find it very

strange and I have to ask. Everyone has a guilty pleasure TV show so in honor of Beloved and his Housewives, what is your guilty pleasure show? The first person to confess to Matlock or Murder She Wrote will win free linky love in next week's Show me the Funny (even if you aren't!).

Say What?!

Here's the deal people. When you use Google to search and your page pops up and you click on that link there's a report generated. If that person (site, whatever) is looking for ways to drive their traffic they use that information to modify what they publish to grab more viewers. At least that's what you're supposed to do. Not me bucky! I use that happy information to....(all together now...) Say What?!

Here are this week's searches that brought folks to The Bowl. My commentary is in black.

im in toilet with mom - I am so glad you have that close relationship with your mom! Good for you!

the toilet bowl mrs giggles - I prefer Ms. Giggles in the professional arena.

hair growing toilet in bowl - Then I would advise that you get out your toilet brush because either you need to clean or it needs a good grooming. Either way you'll be ahead of the game.

toliet bowl blogspoy - I'm still searching Webster for a "blogspoy." You'd think my Greek would come in handy about now.

history of toilet bowl - My sister is the history major so I'll have her get back to you on that.

toilet bowl history - Is this the worst 7th grade history report or what?

do you have to leave already - Yes, Pookie, I do. But don't worry I'll be back tomorrow!

how to measure "ring to index" finger ratio - Check with those Cambridge boys at PNAS; I hear they have it down!

I must say that compared to some of the other searches I've seen pop up on people mine is pretty tame. Especially considering the name of the blog. But then again I don't every really talk about the actual bowl do I? Good times. Good times.

Do men have a clue?

Disclaimer: I love my hubby. I just don't love the way he thinks sometimes.

Tonite for example. I made dinner for 5 (us, our neighbor and his 2 guests). I asked ahead of time how many people and what was happening. I thought I communicated with everyone clearly.

Brrrnnnttt!

Turns out my neighbor's sister had Mexican for lunch so my fajitas weren't appealing to her so she and her friend (who wasn't part of the original plan) ordered out for pizza. My beloved said, "Well they ordered their own food so can I invite 2 more people?" Did I mention that I was putting dinner on the table when he asked?

So now my back deck has suddenly become the site of a 8 adult, 4 children, 2 dog dinner party. I have a small round patio table that seats 4. I rummaged and scrounged and used every lawn chair available. Ever dinner plate is now in the dishwasher and I can only hope that everyone had enough to eat.

I don't REALLY mind. I enjoy entertaining. I enjoy it a lot more when I can prepare better. I do have to say though that the last minute guests were the best part of the evening. Fun, helpful, pleasant dinner conversation. The other half? Ate their own food and couldn't get away from my house fast enough apparently.

sigh. Such is life in the bowl.