Geeze People! 600 miles an hour!

For the love of Pete! Airplanes fly between 500 and 600 miles an hour! I already Googled it; won the argument and put it to bed people!

So stop searching it already! Out of 20 searches on my blog 13 were for "how fast do airplanes fly" or some variation there of. We've settle dit now people. You have been enlightened and your life is complete.

Of all the things I have blogged in (almost) a year, that's the one that gets me traffic. A domestic dispute that was settled by Google. In-credible!

I guess it's all the international visitors trying to figure out how long their flight would be if they were coming to TP my front yard. I have added to my international appeal, you know! I am now scoring visits from such exotic lands as Ireland, New Zealand and Malaysia! Granted it's only been one at a time but hey! I'm out there.

My French pal showed up for a little bit a few weeks ago but I think they're still mad at me for making such a poor attempt at an accent. Did I mention that Egypt showed up on my radar? Think they would flee with flaming hair if I did the Watusi on video? I haven't figured out how to offend the Irish and the Australians yet because that would involve more Guinness than my little body can hold so they might just have to stay fans for a while.

I did laugh when I saw a visit from Great Britain. Think they might be mad at me for my Charles and Harry snipe?

The only international I'm a little worried about is the Iranian who stayed for a record 26 minutes and 37 seconds. Something tells me the Homeland Security Spies are going to be monitoring my posts for a while. The thing is that Iranian friend only visited 2 pages. What two posts could take you a half hour to read? I know I'm chatty sometimes (case in point) but a half an hour?!

Anyway, I've just destroyed a full minute of your life with my nonsense so you may feel free to join the internationals in TP-ing the yard. Times are tough. I'll take donations to my grocery budget anytime!

Well, Now I'm REALLY Confused!

By the time you read this it will be old news but I am profoundly confused just the same. Tonight is the annual torture of switching back to daylight savings time - ye ole spring forward, if you will. And my brain being what it is started to question the whole notion. I understand making the most of the daylight hours and conserving energy and all that stuff.

What I didn't get was why the "Big Switch" happens at a bizarre hour like 2 AM. Who waits until 2 AM to change their clock? Don't most of us change the clock right about now (10 PM EST - pre switch for those of you who have already done the switch and gone to bed) and hit the hay and wake up when the alarm sounds an hour too soon in the morning? What is the point of the whole 2 AM deal? So I, in my infinite wisdom and with my high tech researching skills, went to the almighty Google in search of the answer. Here is what I found.

Daylight Saving Time goes into effect in most of U.S.
By Michael Kitchen
NEW YORK (MarketWatch) -- Most of the U.S. will move to Daylight Saving Time at 2 a.m. Sunday. Arizona, Puerto Rico, Hawaii, the U.S. Virgin Islands and American Samoa are the exceptions, as they do not observe the shift in time. The U.S. previously switched to Daylight Saving each year on the first Sunday in April, but in 2007, the start date was moved to the second Sunday in March. Standard Time is slated to resume on the first Sunday in November.

Please tell me you saw the part where the exceptions are listed. I get the outlying islands. They are in their own little time zones or aren't even full states anyway which brings Alaska into question but we'll get back to that. But what is up with Arizona? It IS still part of the contiguous 48 right? So if I fly to Phoenix tomorrow I'll get my hour back? Or did they not give it up in the first place? How do Arizonians keep track of it if they are on completely different time than the rest of us? There have to be a lot of missed flights for the first couple of weeks, wouldn't you think?

Now Alaska, do they change time? I mean by now they are coming to the end of the really long nights anyway so do they even bother with all the time changing?

I'm so completely confused. I did some more searching after I got around the whole brain bender about who has to change time and who doesn't and found out that the whole thing was a war measure used to conserve fuel and energy in World War 1. So now I know the why it happens in general.

But I still don't know why it happens in the middle of the night. I guess I'll hit up Wikipedia next. Wait. Nope. Wiki didn't know either. It's like someone just threw a dart at the clock and said "2 AM it is!" I mean, I don't really care. It's the middle of the night and I sleep through it anyway or at least I did before I had children. There's a very good chance I'll actually see the time change this year. What was I saying? Oh yeah. 2 AM.

Well, either way. Sleep well and go to bed soon. And don't forget to schedule a nap tomorrow.

Work for a Fast Food Chain?

I was fact checking with a rock star blogger pal of mine who happens to live in Utah (home of the Wedgie Weilding Vet Tech) to see if the story was real. Being the supportive individual she is (who also shares my sense of humor) she shared another Utah news story with me. So this time everyone say thank you Trisha!

Apparently this poor fellow wanted to but got stuck behind the wheel of a truck instead! Now I would copy and paste the story for you but it's copyrighted and I am not in the mood for jail time and don't have funds for bail or major fines so you'll just have to click over.

Semi's hamburger spill leads to morning commute mess on I-15

The driver fell asleep, crashed into the center concrete barrier and tossed his cargo of hambuger patties all over the highway. And by all over I mean both sides of the highway to the point that they shut the whole smash down for several hours. The timestamp on the story was 9:33 AM and the northboud side of the highway was still shut down; southbound had opened at 6:45. My first thought when I read the story?

Gives a whole new meaning to "flipping burgers!"

I was relating this story to my sister (aka my sounding board) and she remarked that it would have been even more bizarre if the truck had caught fire and started cooking them. No we are not wishing harm on the driver at all! We just have a sick sense of humor that's all.

Of course the conversation spiraled out of control from there because we started to think about the bizarre things that have been spilled on the highways. From shoes to livestock to toilet paper and now hamburgers. Out of random curiosity I approached the might Google once again to see what other bizarre things we might find.

It is my profound and hysterical pleasure to present to you a website dedicated to none other than "bizarre highway spills." Man I love the web!

How Fast do Airplanes Fly?

That was the question sparked by Jon and Kate this fine evening. We are watching them on their ski trip and they have been rerouted 300 miles out of the way. I commented that "that just added at least 2 hours to their travel time."

Mr. Smarty Pants McFly (also known as L.M. Lion) said something to the effect of "that so added 4 hours you mean. Planes only travel at about 150 mph!"

What are you talking about? Mom and Dad are 600 miles away and the flight to their house is only and hour and some change!

You are absolutely wrong about this. There is no way that planes travel 600 miles an hour! Go ahead! Google it and you'll see that I'm right. (Because he's always right.)

I had to take the trash out anyway so I trotted my happy behind down the stairs, ditched the trash, ignored the dry cleaning that I'll end up retrieving in the morning, and popped into the playroom/office. Oh mighty Google who will you favor tonight? The smarty pants know it all or the meek and humble open minded learner?

And it goes to...the Meek and Humble! And in my humility I politely BELLOWED up the stairs, "Commercial airliners have speeds of 500 to 600 miles per hour varying only by the presence of headwinds and weather conditions."

Ok.

SAY IT!

You were right.

My work here is done.

Say What?!

Here's the deal people. When you use Google to search and your page pops up and you click on that link there's a report generated. If that person (site, whatever) is looking for ways to drive their traffic they use that information to modify what they publish to grab more viewers. At least that's what you're supposed to do. Not me bucky! I use that happy information to....(all together now...) Say What?!

Here are this week's searches that brought folks to The Bowl. My commentary is in black.

im in toilet with mom - I am so glad you have that close relationship with your mom! Good for you!

the toilet bowl mrs giggles - I prefer Ms. Giggles in the professional arena.

hair growing toilet in bowl - Then I would advise that you get out your toilet brush because either you need to clean or it needs a good grooming. Either way you'll be ahead of the game.

toliet bowl blogspoy - I'm still searching Webster for a "blogspoy." You'd think my Greek would come in handy about now.

history of toilet bowl - My sister is the history major so I'll have her get back to you on that.

toilet bowl history - Is this the worst 7th grade history report or what?

do you have to leave already - Yes, Pookie, I do. But don't worry I'll be back tomorrow!

how to measure "ring to index" finger ratio - Check with those Cambridge boys at PNAS; I hear they have it down!

I must say that compared to some of the other searches I've seen pop up on people mine is pretty tame. Especially considering the name of the blog. But then again I don't every really talk about the actual bowl do I? Good times. Good times.