Let's be Real!

Last night while I was cruising around Bloggy Land I started looking at some profile pics and of course thinking about mine. This is the large version of my profile pic.

Aren't we all so cute and pretty?

But see when I'm sitting here at the computer writing to you and cruising your pages, this is totally NOT what I look like. How about a good dose of reality this morning? Here's what you would see if you could look through your page and see me on the other side.

(Obviously, I don't look that bored when I'm on your page but the web cam was not cooperating this morning and I was annoyed.)

So let's study this for a minute.

A. That would be the ever present ball cap that stays on my head to hide the fact that I haven't showered or even glanced in the direction of a hairbrush in 12 hours.

B. Present from fall to spring, you are now seeing the very fashionable hooded sweatshirt (one of 3 options). This is used to mask exhibit D but we'll get to that in a minute.

C. Please notice the total lack of makeup and the glaring presence of dark circles and bleariness. I don't wear makeup except for church and the bleariness is courtesy of sleeping in my contacts yet again.

D. The syrup and jelly stained shirt. That I slept in.

And you people wonder why I don't vlog very often. I'm just saying. I'm very glad that blogging is something I can do with a computer screen between you and me.

I Think I'm the Worst "Girl" on the Planet!

I was scanning through my reader just now and saw several references that made me wonder about my girl-itude.

I am 31. That's right! I crossed the threshold without much ado and really couldn't have cared less (once I got used to the idea that I spent the second half of my 20's preggers). So as I watch some of the women bloggers around me protesting turning 30 and buying anti aging creams and microderm abrasion kits I wonder if I missed something.

Then there's the whole makeup and nail polish thing. I just don't do it. Never really have! I was burnt by stage makeup during the dress rehersal for our senior class play and ever since really just figured the Good Lord made me this way. He must have thought it was allright. Nail polish is a complete waste on me. My nails are the splitting and flaking kind so no sooner to I start to try to grow them out then one goes to pieces and the whole cause is lost. And I certainly can't see the point of buying fake nails only to replace them a few weeks later. Good for you those who can and do. It's just not my bag.

On to hair. I get mine cut and styled every 3 years. Period. I always ask for a cut that can grow out and I'm always up front with the stylist that unless they plan to be in the same chair in 3 years they will probably won't see me ever again. Color. The closest I ever came to going pro color was my college roommate. We got pretty efficient after about the 6th try.

And that's just appearance! I loathe shopping. I avoid the phone when possible. And I have only dated (counting them up now) 8 guys in my life (unless you count the mini crushes in junior high where I "went with" a guy for a day - that MAY bump me to 12). I am married to #8 and quite honestly should anything ever happen to him I highly doubt that I would ever reenter the dating scene or remarry. I have 0 interest in celebrities, their hair or their babies. REality shows annoy me - forget that! TV in general tends to annoy me. And my books have to be thriller or classics - ok so maybe that qualifies me a little.

I'm just saying. If the above are standards of gilriness - I just failed with flaming colors!