Wow! I'm glad they cleared that up!

From the same people who brought you the Finger Length Study and the Apostrophe Crusade we now have Tell me the Obvious!

Study: Tanning beds definitely cause cancer

England, you are definitely climbing my V-8 list! Now if you didn't read the article (because we all know how often people REALLY click on the embedded link) let me give you the run down. Tanning bed use is on the rise. Incidents of skin cancer are on the rise in the same age demographic. Therefore what we have always known to be a pretty obvious truth has been confirmed. Now we have just thrown enough money at "research" to claim it as a fact.

But here's one of my favorite parts of the article.

The new classification means tanning beds and ultraviolet radiation are definite causes of cancer, alongside tobacco, the hepatitis B virus and chimney sweeping, among others.

Well there goes my life long goal of being a chimney sweep! I find it very hard to believe that climbing inside what is pretty much the same thing as preburnt cigarette guts could cause cancer. How could that be?!

Oh, but there's more!

Cogliano said the classification means experts are confident that tanning beds cause cancer, but he noted they may not be as potent as other carcinogens like tobacco or arsenic.

Huh. Imagine that. Tanning beds are safer than arsenic. Good to know.

Now I know that some humans are just downright oblivious and pretty darn stupid. But isn't anyone else a little offended that science still thinks that we are too stupid to put together that UV rays from the sun can cause cancer so therefore UV rays from a machine will probably do the same thing?

Someday common sense is going to make a comeback. I hope it's not too soon! What would I blog about then?

Hey Georgia! Take Driver's Ed!

The residents of my personal work camp fixed my soap box yesterday so I'm back up on it.

Georgia residents must take drivers ed. They have to. If they don't I demand that they turn in their car keys for bike helmets. You would think that people would be a lot more careful when they are pushing tons of metal around on the highways and by ways but not here in Georgia.

Let me give you a crash course people.

#1. When it rains you reduce your speed, turn on your wipers and headlights and you follow at a greater distance to allow for more stopping time. This does not mean drop to 20 miles an hour nor does it mean continue to barrel along at 70 like you normally do.

#2. A yellow light does not mean "Gun It!" It means slow down or maybe actually stop ahead of time so that you are not blocking the entire intersection thus snaggling traffic for people in the three roadways.

Especially do not block an intersection in front of a fire station. When stupid people like you get behind the wheel accidents happen and guess who gets called to the scene. The emergency personnel that you know have pinned down in their station. They have no qualms with plowing you out of the way and since they are bigger than you, something tells me you are going to get the short end of the stick.

#3. On the left side of your steering column there is a lever. You are probably familiar with it - it has the knob to turn on your headlights. But apparently there is something else you didn't know about it. If you push it up or down it locks and completes an electrical circuit that makes some lights on your car flash. You know what those flashing lights tell the rest of the drivers? That you intend to turn your car one direction or the other. Let me simplify it a little more for you - up is right; down is left.

One thing you should know about this wonderfully useful lever. It is most effective if you use it in advance of your turn. See, then the people behind you know what you intend to do before you do it. Using it in midturn is perfectly worthless.

#4. This one is a little tricky so I'll type slowly and use small words. The Yield sign means that you slow down or maybe even stop and give the right of way to the people coming down the road that you are turning onto. It does not mean that you should charge onto the six feet of roadway that you have left and shove your bumper in my wheel well while giving me one way directions with the appropriate finger. If I take your bumper home with me as a souvenir, guess who is getting the ticket for failure to yield. One hint. It ain't me.

And finally #5. And this is aimed at the lady in the black Audi who takes her children to the Creme de la Creme across the street from my subdivision. There is an enormous sign that says "No left turn." If you insist on continuing to make a left turn into the center, I will insist on removing your front bumper when I'm trying to get into my neighborhood without having my rear bumper and back seat ripped off by the people coming down the hill.

I will also be forced to sue the rings off your grill if I get T-boned because someone decided to use my turning lane as a travel lane trying to get around you and thus avoiding having their rear eaten by the cement truck that is barrelling down on them from the other side.

I'm sure there are about a million other rules of the road that you are oblivious to like how to merge, highway courtesy, and the definition of "speed LIMIT." Tip - they didn't print the sign like that because the word "suggestion" was too long. For now I will let you deal with our first five rules. Maybe next week we'll have another "Driving for Morons" course.

Until then, try not to kill anyone.

The Final Countdown to CPSIA

What? You don't know what CPSIA is? Yeah well I didn't either so I'll help you out and share with you. CPSIA =Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act. That sounds great doesn't it? Yay!! After that big lead scare last year it's about time something was done! Woo Hoo and Yippee!

Wrong. This is probably some of the most poorly written legislation ever. Here's what our friends at the Consumer Products Safety Commission have done. After the lead scare they got all tough and decided that the solution was to make sure that all products that were intended for use by children 12 and under be thoroughly tested for safe lead levels. Still a great idea, right? Sure until you see how they did it.

It's not enough for the ribbon manufacturers to test their product before they sell it. Now the people who buy that ribbon have to test it again when they put it into any product. They aren't changing the ribbon in anyway but they still have to test it before they can put it on the market.

Now if I buy a dress that has the manufacturer's ribbon on it not only am I paying more for the original manufacturer's testing (which he passed on to the seamstress) but now I'm going to pay for the seamstress's testing too. Guess what happened to my $12 dress from Target? It just jumped to $20.

Now let's look at cottage industry in America. There are home businesses that make art for the nursery, custom tees and onesies, bedding, hairbows and hairbow holders. Want to guess what the new law does to them? They too have to test their product for lead. And if it's a custom shop they can't just test one item out of a batch because they are making them to order. They have to test every individual piece. How long do you suppose they are going to be able to keep it up when they have to foot a $300 test for each item they produce?

So in a time when Americans are already out of work and money is already tight, not only are we going to shut down the American entrepreneur, but we are going to make that same entrepreneur pay more for all of their goods.

Now what started this whole thing? Oh yeah! It came from cheaply made imported goods. Hmmm. So instead of putting the testing on the folks who are importing goods and reselling them, we are going to put it on the manufacturers.

How about this instead. Let's bring some manufacturing jobs home. Convert those eyesores known as empty retail space that Mr. WalMart built and then abandoned for a bigger space right across the street into factories and sewing factories. Put American citizens back to work. And have a safe product created right here in a country that we need to take some pride in again.

Let's see Americans at work - positive; safe product for our children - positive; recycling buildings into something useful - positive; increase in American pride - positive. Anyone see a downside to this?

The CPSIA goes into effect on February 10th. Now the are three things we have going for us. First, the Consumer Product Safety Commission is underfunded and really has no chance of strictly enforcing this law but that doesn't mean people shouldn't follow the law anyway. Second, you can probably rack up some really great deals on Mom-made if you stalk Etsy in the next few weeks because it's going to be a real "Going Out of Business" sale. And finally, consignment shops and "resellers" don't have to test their products for lead content - they just have to make an effort to avoid things that are questionable. So you can still buy that antique wrought iron crib with the white lead paint that you were eyeing for the nursery - it came from a consignment shop.

We all know just how political I am but I promise that I've already sent my letters and e-mails to my state representatives. For the sake of American made could I ask you to do the same? This thing needs to be repealed, reassessed and completely rewritten.

Now Trisha over at MomDot has put a video together too so if you didn't understand my version of events maybe you'll get hers. Study this. Whether you are a home business or not it IS going to impact you. You are a consumer and if they can't pass the cost on through the actual items they are required to test (children's products), they will pass it on in everything else they make (Dad's t-shirts).

Oh, Mainstream News Media! How I Love Thee!

Just when I think the blog inspiration well has gone dry, you do yet another new piece that just takes me to new levels and places of blogging joy! And for once I'm not going to pick on NBC. This time it's Ms. Sawyer and her network who is going to get my skewer! Ready?

Victoria Secret: Formaldehyde in Bras? So here's the story. A woman is suing VS for a rash that she developed in areas that contact her bra. Testing by her attorney's office has revealed the presence of formaldehyde in the bra; VS disputes that claim. That's the short version.

Now I took the time to actually look at some (not all 193 at last count) of the comments left for ABC on this news story and I am blown away! For two years or more in some of these cases women have been wearing these bras and having these problems. You never thought maybe there was a problem with the bra? You never thought maybe you should change your brand? You are just now putting two and two together because you saw it on the news?

I understand brand loyalty and as a woman I am incredibly aware that finding a bra that fits is a chore and a pain in so many areas other than your behind. But you are more willing to deal with rashes and blistering and SCARRING than you are to go find a new brand of bra? I don't know if you are crazy, lazy or just certifiably nuts!

Do I think VS should launch an investigation and find out what the problem is? Absolutely! Should some kind of restitution be made? Give them a refund on the faulty bras they can return to you and take the rest off the shelves. Pay them some kind of settlement? Not on your stinkin' life! Make people take responsibility for their own stupidity! You wore the bra even though it was giving you a rash! And someone else should pay you?

Well, if that's the case I'm going to go out and walk into a street sign. Then the steel industry needs to pay me for my head trauma! Or maybe the city for putting it somewhere where I could get to it.

And people wonder why children play the blame game when they get in trouble!

Stupid people tick em off! And shame on you Mainstream Media for giving them two minutes to be stupid for the whole world! But keep it up because someday I'll be able to say, "This blog brought to you by the find producers of ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC and FOX NEWS!"



http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=5195818

I am NOT going to make a good PTA member.

As is our usual custom, I packed up the troops at 2:15 and went to pick Mo up from school. There was Nudist drama right before we left the house and I've been under the weather so maybe I wasn't in the best frame of mind. But then I got into the carpool lane and my mood spiraled downward into the Abyss.

No one seemed to be paying attention so it was like being in line at the amusement park. A load of kids got in their cars and the parents pulled away. Five more cars pulled up to take their loads. But then there was that one person who just couldn't put the magazine down long enough to pay attention and let a huge gap grow. Finally she snapped out of it and pulled up. Now we're back in business.

Then we have the dad who apparently doesn't do this much. He waited until his son was standing beside the car to get out and carry him around to the other side and put him in his car seat with backpack still on. So now he has to take that off and buckle him in and make sure the buckle is through the seat properly. And now we're backed up again. Finally Dad gets in the car and here we go.

Now there was one car in front of me. So Mo jumps in I buckle her up as the automatic door closes, jump into my seat and put the van in gear. The mom in front of me has stopped in the middle of the lane to talk to the mom who has pulled over in front of the dumpster to get something out of the back of her SUV. And they talked. And they talked. And the line is pile up behind me and they talked some more.

Tuck is wanting to know why we aren't going anywhere. Mo is yelling at Tuck because she wants to tell me about her day and he won't stop talking about the ladies who are blocking the driveway. Munch can't be left out so she starts her "JUICE! JUICE! JUUUUUIIICCCCCEE!" campaign.

And they are still talking. Finally one of the teachers catches Dumpster Mom's eye and makes it clear that they are gumming up the works. And I hear her say, "Well, I guess we better move."

Ya think?!

I am not going to be a popular person at the PTA meetings. Say what you have to say and get out of my way. I'm not a very social person to begin with but if you want me to sit and talk about dr's appointments and dance classes you definitely have the wrong mom.

Maybe I should have titled this blog "Things I learned in the Carpool Lane!"