Journey on a Winding Road: Is it Self Inflicted?

This particular post has been rattling around in my brain for a very long while but today seems to be the day to let it out.

I did not leave the couch until noon today. That's right, sports fans. I curled up under two blankets with the dog and I dozed while my children watched cartoons. Bad Mommy!

The beds upstairs aren't made yet. The beds are always made by 9 am. Bad Mommy!

There are three loads of laundry that need to be folded and put away and there are probably three more that need to be washed. Bad Mommy!

There are still dishes from last night's dinner that haven't been washed. Bad Mommy!

The playroom is a total nightmare that is beginning to draw FEMA's attention and I haven't done a thing about it except say, "You guys promised Daddy that you would clean it up today so get to it." Oh yeah! I'm a real motivational speaker. Bad Mommy!

But there's where the problem is. Who is saying "Bad Mommy!"? Is it my mom? She's 600 miles away and has no clue what my house looks like right now. Is it my mother in law? She has never set foot in my house and you can bet your kiester if she ever did it wouldn't look like this! Is it my friends? My friends are working mothers who I talk to on the phone or they are online bloggy land and CM friends who again don't see my house.

So who is saying it? I am. That's the problem. No one expects me to be Super Mom. Except me. No one in my circle would judge me for taking a day off. Except me. So often I take my pride from what I got accomplished today. I did nine loads of laundry last Thursday, made cookies, shampooed the carpets, dusted all the furniture, cook a supreme dinner, scrubbed both bathrooms and had my children fed, bathed and polished before their father came home at 8 o'clock.

But let me have a day like today and I am done in. I get all blue because my house is cluttered (who cares?), and because I feel like I haven't done anything all day. But let me go back and tell you what I did while I was on the couch this morning.

I snuggled and played toe tag with Tucker. I played with Munch and her stuffed toys and made them talk to her. I played hide and seek with both of them - I was a really tough find! And I protected the dog from countless skull fracturing pounces.

I stopped being busy and I took four precious hours to be Mom. So when those blues at not "accomplishing" anything all day start to creep I need to remember that no one is asking me to do all that stuff. I am putting that on myself.

I think MckMama had a really great post last week (or maybe the week before) about Mom Guilt that all of us on this journey would do well to read and consider. We have to keep reminding ourselves that it's not about Quantity. It's about Quality!