It hasn't been a full week since I started to really assess what is going on in my head and try to sort and cope with the findings. But even in the four days that have passed I have come to a couple of realizations.
The first: Of course Saturday was crazy and I felt out of control and had emotions raging all over the spectrum. It was countdown to the monthly visit. Sorry TMI I know but how can I forget about that one very impacting factor? I really have to talk to my doc about a different Pill or something that stabilizes the hormones a little. I think that might have been the REAL curse of Eden - the wobbly hormones. And have you noticed how stresses no matter how large or small just throw those even further and more extremely out of whack? Sometimes it's not even for the worse either. Sometimes if I'm stressed about accomplishing something and my focus is on that one thing I feel more stable than if I was just drifting along like a goose on the river.
The second: A little fitness goes a VERY long way. Last summer I connected with yoga and pilates and started to do some walking first thing in the morning. Before all the children were awake. Before the washer started running and Mount Washmore started to move from one pile to another. I would take that 45 minutes and I would DO something. There are so many benefits to this I'm not sure where I want to start.
It was something for me and when I was doing it, it was impossible to divide myself to do anything else. What can you do for your child while you are holding a warrior pose? Nothing.
It was something that was quiet and centering. Unless you are doing weight training or extreme cardio there isn't a lot of sound to exercise. Maybe your feet tapping on the pavement. Maybe the sigh of your breath as you glide through your vinyasa. But there isn't noise.
And your mind clears. Things just seem to sort through into their little compartments like coins through a sorter. The chores drop into the To Do folder; the worries fall into the prayer (or meditation) folder; the memories fall into the smile folder. The garbage manages to just fall out.
When you finish there is a sudden rush of energy - those of you who remember biology can tell me what that funny brain chemical is but I can't remember it. But there's just the energy and the feeling of wellness. Combine that with the fact that you may be losing weight or toning up or just sweating out toxins and you suddenly feel just a little better about yourself.
I would never conclude that fitness is the cure for depression but if it can boost the effectiveness of medications or if it can alleviate the tension around you for even a little while, it helps in my book. Just in case you were looking for added motivation for your fitness goal of '09, now you have it. Find that routine or workout that gives you the jump and stick with it. It certainly isn't going to hurt (unless you count muscle soreness)!