Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Ahh, The Power of Underpants!

I would like everyone to say "Thank you Ragman's Daughter!" because I just opened my e-mail to the tastiest tidbit in a while. And it did not involve Mildred (today's e-mailing senior) or naked wildlife. Here it is in all it's glory because giving you a link just wouldn't be right.

Woman uses wedgie to capture suspected thief

It took a wedgie and a headlock to pin down a man suspected of breaking into a car. Yvonne Morris, a technician at the Brickyard Animal Hospital, said she chased a man who broke into a co-worker's car, but he kept squirming away from her.

The third time, Morris grabbed hold of the man's boxer shorts and pulled. Salt Lake City police said she then she put a headlock on the man until help could arrive.
The man was booked into the Salt Lake County jail on suspicion of vehicle burglary, possession of stolen property and outstanding warrants.

Courtesy of our friends at the Associated Press.

But that vet tech scares the bejeepers out of me!

Now this made me snort for so many reasons. First, I play things out in my imagination while I am reading them so I am seeing a woman in scrubs and a pony tail haulin' crocs across a parking lot, hurdling dogs, piles of poo and cat carriers to get to Dude in the first place.

Then of course you have Dude. His eyes are as big as saucers as he watches a woman who wrestles Rottweilers for a living bearing down on him. And she catches him! "But he kept squirming away from her." I'm picturing a reenactment of what happens on my changing table every night only with a full grown man screaming "nooooo! I don't wanna go to jail!" while kicking and flailing every possible body part.

And finally, the grand finale. The icing on my hysterical cupcake. The Wedgie! Now this would be funny all on it's own but I can't even count the number of escapes I have foiled THIS WEEK ALONE by snagging someone by the drawers and either pantsing them so that they can't move their feet or by taking them off the ground for a brief moment.

Around here it ends in a tickle fight and giggles but something tells me Dude was grateful the cops came when they did. I'm pretty sure he was having some serious flashbacks to the high school locker room and was just waiting for the rest of the techs to swarm the parking lot with their wound up towels waiting to snap him in the rear.

I sure do wish I could get my hands on that police report. "We arrived on the scene to find the suspect turning various shades of crimson and gasping for air while attempting to dislodge large wads of cotton fabric from his behind."


TheXMom said...

LOL!!! Let's hoped he wiped really well.. otherwise the streak marks added to his humiliation I'm sure.

Fer said...

Too bad they weren't inside in a public restroom. She could have given him a swirlie =)

Ragmansdaughter said...

Okay, now I didn't even think about the police report. Can you imagine what his jail mates are going to think about how he was captured? What about the jury at his trial? He should plead out to keep this out of the court room, or the entire jury could be charged with contempt of court.