Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Word-something Wednesday: Solar Powered!

Now really Wordless. Not really Wordful. So I'm Word Something today! Yup. Feeling pretty random. Let's talk.

Remember this picture from say January something?


That was me after a winter in the basement. Not pretty at all. Quite grotesque actually! I can admit it. I know what cave dwelling does for me.

Well, this is me now after a mere week of sunshine.

You can't really tell because of the web cam quality but I already have a jump start on my tan and I've lost 3 pounds of winter "fur" (at least that's what we'll call it).

Thank the Big Man upstairs for sunshine and potting soil. Too many more days of rain and gray and I might have actually gone round the bend! Think I can claim to be eco friendly if I myself am solar powered?

Friday, April 24, 2009

Geeze People! 600 miles an hour!

For the love of Pete! Airplanes fly between 500 and 600 miles an hour! I already Googled it; won the argument and put it to bed people!

So stop searching it already! Out of 20 searches on my blog 13 were for "how fast do airplanes fly" or some variation there of. We've settle dit now people. You have been enlightened and your life is complete.

Of all the things I have blogged in (almost) a year, that's the one that gets me traffic. A domestic dispute that was settled by Google. In-credible!

I guess it's all the international visitors trying to figure out how long their flight would be if they were coming to TP my front yard. I have added to my international appeal, you know! I am now scoring visits from such exotic lands as Ireland, New Zealand and Malaysia! Granted it's only been one at a time but hey! I'm out there.

My French pal showed up for a little bit a few weeks ago but I think they're still mad at me for making such a poor attempt at an accent. Did I mention that Egypt showed up on my radar? Think they would flee with flaming hair if I did the Watusi on video? I haven't figured out how to offend the Irish and the Australians yet because that would involve more Guinness than my little body can hold so they might just have to stay fans for a while.

I did laugh when I saw a visit from Great Britain. Think they might be mad at me for my Charles and Harry snipe?

The only international I'm a little worried about is the Iranian who stayed for a record 26 minutes and 37 seconds. Something tells me the Homeland Security Spies are going to be monitoring my posts for a while. The thing is that Iranian friend only visited 2 pages. What two posts could take you a half hour to read? I know I'm chatty sometimes (case in point) but a half an hour?!

Anyway, I've just destroyed a full minute of your life with my nonsense so you may feel free to join the internationals in TP-ing the yard. Times are tough. I'll take donations to my grocery budget anytime!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Because Losers are Awesome! That's Why!

I am a fan of Real Sports with Bryant Gumble on HBO. It really can be a fascinating show and some of the stories are AWESOME! But this month it just flat out ticked me off.

If you haven't seen it yet, and you get HBO you need to stalk for it. There is a story about The Banning of Dodgeball in schools. Yes, I know. Out of 33 followers and random readers from around the blogosphere, at least one of you has a horrible memory of dodgeball. Some of you have horrible memories of gym class and middle school in general. See a therapist. I'm not your go to on this one.

My problem wasn't so much the banning of dodgeball but the reasoning behind it. We don't want children to be scarred by losing. They need to participate in activities that will help them feel successful. Seriously? You can't let children lose at a gym activity?

But it gets worse. They showed further footage of a PE teacher training in which they were...Wait for it! Jumping rope. WITHOUT A ROPE!

Pick your jaws up people. It is real and I watched it twice just to be sure. They encourage children to use their imaginations for how many times the rope can pass under them. And why don't we use a real rope? Because we could trip ourselves and get hurt.

Which leads me to indignation #3. A school has also banned tag. They can only play "Shadow Tag" (step on the person's shadow to freeze/unfreeze them) because too many children were falling down and getting bruises and scrapes. In this economy you want to go a step further and put Band-Aid out of business? That's just wrong!
But no touch tag wasn't enough. Because things were so delightful (please pardon my sarcasm), they decided to ban touching at all. Air high fives. Air hugs. And no patting a friend on the back.

Wait. I'll be right back after I brush the vomit taste out of my mouth.

Who wants to make the first prediction as to what happens to these "Chronic Winners" when they don't get the job on the first job interview? What happens when they get dumped? What happens when they don't get into the school they want because their test scores aren't good enough?

And if we are eliminating everything that could cause injury, does that mean we are banishing all organized sports? No more Tee Ball. No more soccer. Do you have any ideas how many times I stopped a soccer ball with my face in gym class? My sister wore hockey ball badges on her shins for crying out loud! And that was only practice!
Why can't children learn dissapointment? Isn't it more important to teach them to handle losing with grace and sportsmanship than to pamper their egos and give them a false sense of self? Competition is real people. And some people win. And some people lose. It's how the losers handle it that determines their character. The same can be said of winners.
So suck it up. Take a ball to the head or the small of your back. Shake it off and be graceful about it.
If you can see through your swollen eye.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Two Cents Tuesday: A Good Crown and Good Drama


Tu Tu is only hosting Two Cents Tuesday on the first Tuesday of the month now but I couldn't resist my own little day today. I've been biting my tongue since I saw the video on my pal Nicolle's site yesterday (a few days late I know) but the firestorm is growing so I'll fan it a little.

Perez Hilton (what a way to start a post, huh?) was a judge for the Miss USA pageant this past weekend. Love him or hate him he's around because he's good drama. And he did his best work this past weekend. He asked "THE" question regarding the legalization of homosexual marriage of Miss California. She gave her answer based on her principles and her opinion - which by the way is what he asked - her opinion. A question that begins with "Do you think..." solicits an individual's opinion.

Now given the recent outcome of last year's election, don't you think he had a point in asking California? After Prop 9 and the backlash against Reverend Warren for supporting Prop 9 and all the media coverage that the issue got, I suggest that California was a target. Perez could have asked Vermont the same question but he didn't. He could have asked any one of the other 49 states but he fired it at California.

On top of that, don't you suppose maybe he might have had a clue what her opinion was? He was a judge. He's a media man. He's into publicity, drama and making waves. I would be willing to bet that he knew in advance what her opinion was and since she IS California used it to really fire things up.

Another point. Aren't the judges supposed to use the question and answer time to score based on poise, presentation and over all demeanor? Should her opinion have been held against her? Yes, she bobbled her answer a little but the way this is unfolding, it looks like it was her actual answer that cost her, not her carriage. So she doesn't support a cause held dear by a segment of the nation. If she had come out supporting homosexual marriage she would have alienated the other side.

Everyone is saying that she should have taken a more diplomatic path and skirted the issue altogether with a "let's leave it to the individuals of the states to decide." I say that was the coward's way out. It's that kind of pandering and waffling that has lead this country into a gray abyss of indecision. There is no moral standard anymore because it's all about not offending. It's all about everyone being what they want to be and no one can speak for or against because they will alienate, offend or hurt someone's feelings. No one will take a stand on a principle.

I applaud California, not just because I agree with her, but because she took a stand on national television. In all of her interviews since she has said that she would do it all over again and she is proud and comfortable with her decision. She hopes to lead people to take a stand.

But that's just my Two Cents! Weigh in. This inquiring mind wants to know. If you want to read the whole story (ABC's version) you can catch up here and get back to me.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Oh to be a Royal!

The cover of Parade this week posed the question "Do we need royalty in the 21st century?" I skipped the article because my brain was already going and I didn't want to muddle my thoughts. I'm such a responsible journalist, don't ya know!

Do we need royalty? Maybe not. I mean what do they do but wave and smile and serve a ceremonial purpose? But on the other hand maybe we do need them.

Who is the standard of proper behavior?
The Queen. Think about it. Anytime anyone visits her or if she visits the States like she did last spring, everyone is mindful of proper protocol, behavior and manners. You stand a little taller if The Queen is looking your direction. You make sure you scrub behind your ears if you are going to even be in the same state as The Queen.

I contend then that we do need the royals. We need the Queen anyway. Charles and Harry? Maybe not. William has been doing ok so far so we'll keep him around.

Perhaps it isn't the royals themselves that we need around but what they represent - a higher standard. Maybe we need people to expect more of one another. Maybe we need people to call one another out on manners and behavior more often.

But that would require people to stop being offended by every criticism. That would require people to acknowledge that not all behavior is acceptable. Folks would have to actually live like they had pride in themselves and cared about what other people thought about them. And not just on a superficial "how do I look" level. People would have to care if people respected them.

People would have to be willing to earn others' respect through respectable behaviors.

So you tell me. Can it be done? Can a higher standard be presented and grown? Will people actually start to put a napkin in their laps before they eat? Will they take their elbows off the table? Can sophistication and honor be restored?

Is there Any Justice in the World?

I am so confused about the American justice system right now.

For starters we live in Atlanta so the whole Michael Vick thing was a big deal. So was TI (the rapper in case anyone was under a rock). Well apparently now being a criminal is the thing to do if you are looking for career advancement and an income generator.

I was applauding TI for a while because he did the whole Road to Redemption thing on MTV (I think?!). It really DID look like he was trying to teach youth from his experience and I applauded that. He did the big community service before he even went to jail and now he is serving his sentence. It was the honorable thing to do in my book.

But now I was watching the news again and Michael Vick and Rod Blagovich are being offered reality TV series in conjunction with their new criminal status. Seriously? Is that justice? These guys commit crimes and they are rewarded with lucrative contracts for television. And why do I have a problem with them and not TI? Is it because TI did it BEFORE he went to jail? Of course I don't know what Vick or Blago are going to do as their series. Are they going to do a public service project like TI did? Or is it just going to be a series about them trying to get their lives back?

I just have issues with people being given a 10 year sentence and then they are released 2 years into it to serve a few months in "home confinement." For celebrities the latter is a complete farce considering what their "confined" lifestyle is like.

It comes as no surprise to me that Chris Brown is going to have a glorified lifestyle after the Rhianna incident. It seems to me that justice is a completely lost notion anymore. Individuals can't serve a full sentence because the jails are too crowded but we glorify crime via the celebrities (think Paris Hilton) and let criminals off with a slap on the wrist.

Maybe the time has come to reinstate a chain gang and bread and water. Maybe if hard time really existed for real crimes people would actually try to lead socially responsible lives.

Or maybe I was just born in the wrong generation all together.

See Alcatraz! When justice meant something!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Of Children, Curses and the Dishwater Sh**s

You filled in the missing letters right? Because I really try not to use language my children have to avoid and even though they have not mastered reading (at 2, 4, and 5), someday they will and I would hate for them to think me a hypocrite.

Did I have a point? Oh, yeah!

So we had our first delightful dinner of the outdoor season on the deck last night. It was splendid and everyone ate well and had fun. It was a Cleaver moment. Then it was time to clean up.

Wayne's World flash back with me, will you? When I was growing up I had a skill that very few have ever mastered like I did. I could always find a way out of doing the dishes and not just any way. I had talent. You had two choices. I could vanish into the bathroom and not come out for oh say, an hour or two. This worked particularly well on any night that had a dinner featuring Mexican, seafood, or cabbage.

And then there was option two. I would "clear the table" and by that I mean I would eat everything. Slowly. I didn't care what it was. I would dig the last pea out of the bottom of the tuna noodle casserole dish if that is what it took. In the meantime, my benevolent, forgiving, kind and gracious sister (who reads this blog) would have washed everything, wiped down the counters and swept the floor leaving me, my fork and the dish I was licking as the only things that still needed to be cleaned. And of course with the sink full of clean dishes they would air dry and be put away in the morning.

I had skills. I found out later that it is what my grandfather called - you guessed it, "The Dishwater Sh**ts."
Flash forward to last evening.

Beloved had two choices - clean something (table and dishes or children) or go to the wholesale club. Watch this unfold with me. He decided that he should go check out the hours for the wholesale club so he knew if he had enough time to do the whole shopping and get home in time for bedtime and tuck-ins. It's incredible that in all my surfing today (housework was light) the world wide web, my server and my modem were all cooperative and had incredible response times. And yet when Beloved tries to pull up one site, crash city. Things that make you go "hmmmm."

By the time I realized that he hadn't pulled out of the garage I had roped Mo into helping clear the table and had the two smaller children in the tub soaking off a layer of crud. So the kitchen was done and I was about to put the wraps on a round of baths. Somebody caught The Dishwaters.

They say The Mother's Curse only applies to children (One day you will have children just like you) but I beg to differ. I think the curse can come from anywhere. Oh, he may think he has skills but now he has tangled with The Master of the Dishwaters!

Dum. Dum. Duuuuuuum.

28 Years.

You all saw the big headline of the week, right?

Your hero and mine, Mel Gibson, is getting a divorce after 28 years of marriage. Twenty-eight years in Hollywood to be specific. And you know what is getting press? Apparently there is no prenuptual agreement. That means his wife gets to file for up to half of everything he has ever made since they married in 1980.

You know what? I'm not surprised there was no prenup.

A) It was the 80's. Seriously. Who was thinking straight in the 80's to begin with? Everyone was either coming down off of the highs of the 70's or they were dressing ridiculously and getting high with the "new" drug cocaine.

B) More specifically it was 1980. An actor was elected President of the United States. The US beat Russia in the gold medal round of Olypic hockey. What could possibly go wrong in this state of life?

C) He and his wife are both Catholic. That's a lifetime thing. There is no escape clause in Catholic marriage so who would have expected to ever need one?

And D) Of the 6 movies he had done in his career, only Mad Max had amounted to anything. Who was he to know what a superstar he was to become? He was 24 for crying out loud! What kind of decisions did you make when you were 24? I was 26 when I got married - I wasn't thinking the straightest during those days. (Not referencing my marriage at all by the way but other decisions I made between 24 and 26.)

What bothers me is that ofter 28 Hollywood years they are throwing in the towel. 28 Hollywood years! Do you know how long that is to the rest of us? It's like dog years only in marriage! How do you arrive at divorce after 28 years of marriage in one of the most stressful environments for marriage? And with 7 children. That sounds like an awful lot to give up in my book.

Yes, I read the rest of the news that they've been seperated since his looney DUI incident three years ago. And I guess if you can't work it out in three years you've given it a fair shake. I just don't know how I could do it.

But she sure is going to make out like a bandit, don't you think?

Show me the Funny: Help Me Edition!



Help! I haven't seen any good funnies all week. I need humor and I need it fast. My mood is getting darker by the minute and there is no telling what I might do if I'm pushed too far.

So GO! Go into the blogosphere and bring me back some humor. The survival of the Bowl depends on you! If you Twitter tweet this out. If you Facebook put me on your links. If you stand on a street corner dressed as a cell phone, cow or toasted sandwich wave my link around like mad. Can't say I'll pay you because that would be lying and I'm not a Big Fat Liar (most days). But you will maybe draw me out of my funk and then I'll be able to poke fun at other people and nonsense and stuff.

In the meantime look at the loony I have to live with. And go! Go get me my funny!

video



Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Disenchanted or Spring Fever?

I am trying to decide if this recent blah period I have been trudging through is me being disenchanted with blogging, bored with life in general or just a seriously bad case of Spring Fever.

The news has been all about the economy and The First Dog and we all know that story has been baked, batter dipped, fried, rolled in butter and confectioners sugar and DONE! The dog ate the outcome and we all know what comes next. A big pile of... well, stuff. Television programming has been vile at its best and stale saltines at its worst so that has been worthless for fodder.

Even my kids have been boring this week! Unless you consider the hour of insanity that ensued after I gave Munch Tylenol. You would think I had let her pull a Michael Phelps! Crazy!

Anyway, I would love to go out in the yard and do some spring planting but flowers come at a cost and well, that's just not in the budget right this second. Even going to the park has become routine lately because the kids all see me coming and run whimpering to their mommies muttering something about the "Manners Nazi is here." That was fun though - for the first week. Now my kids are giving me the stink eye because no one will play with them.

So I take on the spider webs up in the vaulted ceiling and clean out the van. I mop and fold laundry and I pine for the days when my children were psychotic, my house was a disaster and the dog was the normal one.

Monday, April 13, 2009

When People Crash into your Life

It happens to be my first day back from Spring Break so this is not my normal humor laden, roll 'em in the aisles but I hope to get back to that soon. Just some brain junk.

I was in a fender bender Friday evening. I was stopped on the road outside our neighborhood waiting to make a left turn into the subdivision when I saw a car bearing down the hill on me. I could tell that the driver had no idea I was stopped and saw a line of cars right behind her. My father and Munch were in the van with me so my brain kicked into over drive.

Words out of my mouth:
"She's not slowing down."
"She's going to hit me."
"SHE'S GOING TO HIT ME!"

Thoughts in my brain (proof that my brain works faster than my mouth):
"She's not slowing down."
"She's going to hit me."
"I need to gun it."
"Maybe I can get away from her if I gun it NOW!"
"Why won't my foot move?"
"There are cars behind her!"
"I don't want her to get hit too!"
"I have to gun it for both our sakes."
"Munch brace yourself."
"Dad, brace yourself."
"My foot still isn't moving!"
"Move you stupid foot!"
"Finally! I'm moving forward!"
"But not fast enough!"

BOOM!

You know the sound. You can be sitting in traffic and you hear "that" sound and you know that someone just got pegged. Because I was moving forward to get out of her way, the damage was minimal. My sweet father waited for traffic to clear and then got us steered out of the way so that we wouldn't cause any more trouble.

She gathered her information and got out of her car. I got out of the car and then I said the words that broke her heart. "Dad, can you take Munch up to the house?" Her eyes went to tears immediately. And my heart broke. Something told me that there was more to this than just a fender bender.

We exchanged information and I tried to console her but there was pain there. I had a terrible time shaking the whole incident off but not just because of the jitters that always come from an accident. There was something else.

Saturday Beloved called her just to make sure he had complete information before he called the insurance company and had a little conversation with her. She's a single mom of two who just had to take a pay cut to even keep her job. Beloved and I were both affected so when he called he asked the insurance company if this incident would affect her in any way. We would forego the claim if it meant she could keep her premiums and coverage low. They assured us that she would be unaffected so he went ahead and filed.

But she's still in my head. There are real people caught in this economic crisis and for all of my railing about government bailouts and what is fair and what isn't fair the bottom line is that no one can help us but us. Beloved and I aren't free and clear of the crisis but we have each other. We aren't facing it alone. If we can help just by offering not to file an insurance claim then we can help. If I can make a meal for a neighbor in need, I can help. If I can just help with someone's yard work so they don't have to pay a landscaper, I can help.

In times like this I think we would all do well to look at what we can DO. I think we need to look at every day events as opportunities. If just a few people start to look outside of themselves, perhaps this crisis can become our nation's salvation.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

You may Call Me Wiki.

Because I know everything and I'm right about it all.

How is it that I intentionally post inflammatory posts on both blogs this week because I'm itching for a good fight and debate and get back, comments like "You are so right"? I can't be right about everything.

And if I am right about everything, then why aren't more people acting like me and changing the world one random act of kindness or selflessness at a time? If I'm so right, how did we get so off course?

I have issued a smack down on a 4 year old and you all approved.
I have blasted moms for being whiney and you all agreed and offered to alter your attitudes.
I admitted that my children drive me to drink and no one called Child Protective Services.
I told you all that divorce is never an option and even the divorcees didn't bother to get up in arms.

Oh well. I guess I'll just sit here on my throne as Princess Know it All and continue my reign. Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you that the world is flat, the sky is green and I regularly pick my nose. Sounds like you would believe just about anything. Baaaa.

(I think Spring Break has finally broken me. I'm being insulting, rude, and snarky. Yup. I'm broken.)

Show me the Funny: I'm a Lazy Butt Edition!


In case you missed the memo, it's Spring Break here so we aren't really doing much more than watching movies, playing playdough, and counting down the days to reinforcements - I mean, Grammy and Poppie and Auntie B.
That being said I haven't been doing too much hunting for funny this week - as a matter of fact big hypocrite that I am, I haven't been reading much of anything this week. That's your warning. Next week should be loaded with hysterical catch up reading.
In the meantime, I'm going to toss up Mr. Linky and preload some funnies that came to my inbox this week. Enjoy, snag some more and by all means...
Live, Love and Laugh!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Two Cents Tuesday: Till Doritos Do Us Part



Tu Tu threw out a HUGE question today for Two Cents Tuesday. The topic is Infidelity. I am eternally grateful that this isn't even the shadow of an issue that I expect to ever deal with. But this is the second time a marriage question has come across my screen this week.

The first time it came from a thread in the Parenting.com forum. "What is harder - being a parent or maintaining your marriage?" So let me address both questions at the same time. My vote goes to marriage and here's why. When you become a parent it completely changes you. You can never do anything to stop being a parent. Never. Abandon your child. Give them up for adoption. Sell them to the circus. It really doesn't matter. You still feel that blood bond deep down inside. It's permanent.

And yes, I know that marriage is supposed to be the same way. "Supposed to." Unfortunately in today's society the theory just doesn't hold up to the practice. People will split over the most ridiculous things. Say a pack of cigarettes for example. That's right. He found out that she was smoking behind his back and now they've been divorced for a year.

She gives birth to three children and gains some weight that she just can't lose. He sees a sleeker, more toned model and he's gone. He gets demoted due to company cut backs and suddenly isn't bringing home as much money. She decides that she can do better and bails.

An argument over child rearing policies. Distracted by work, bills, housekeeping, soccer practice, gymnastics, and camping trips. People are all too willing to throw in the towel.

What does this have to do with infidelity? There are a lot of ways to cheat. It doesn't have to be just another man or woman. In my book anything that comes between two people can be a cheat. But there's the catch. Do you let it stay between you? Or do you resolve it, reprioritize and correct the situation? Too often I think people aren't willing to work to resolve.

And before someone jumps on me "But Sarah, not everything can be resolved" let me go ahead and call "BULL!" on that. It can be resolved. But BOTH people have to commit to resolving it. One can't fix it alone. One can't go 200% while the other goes nowhere.

Someone is going to call me out on domestic violence. Should someone stay in a violent situation? No. Absolutely not. But should they seek counseling, help and exhaust all rehabilitative options from two different locations before they give up? If both are completely committed to the rehabilitation isn't it possible that the situation could be resolved?

My mother said something in a church discussion once that has stuck with me in a HUGE way. Marriage is not a 50/50 deal. It's a 100/100 deal.

We have firmly established that I am a chronic optimist and I understand that the world isn't an optimistic place. But that doesn't mean that it couldn't be if more people would root themselves and stand for right, good and optimism. Our families depend on it.

But that's just my Two Cents. I'd love to hear yours! Let it fly here and then go study up at Jen's Place.

Monday, April 6, 2009

I Got Nuthin'.

Nope.

Not a blasted thing.

Brain is empty.

Oh well.

It's spring break so this could happen a lot this week. Mo is home from school and we are playing a lot so maybe I'll see you all after our little vacay. In the meantime if you feel like you have a little soap box moment or bizarre "this is something that would happen to Sarah" drop it off. sarahc51977(at)yahoo(dot)com. I'll pass on the linky love and maybe even editorialize for you. Now THAT'S some motivation!

Have a great week all! If you need me I'm the playdough statue under the dining room table sucking her thumb.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

My Weekly Out of Character Moment

Apparently I am making a habit of this. The whole acting rashly out of character thing.

I treated the kids to some Old McDonald's today (their words not mine) and we took it to the park with us to snag our allotment of vitamin D. After we ate I of course turned them loose on the play equipment because full bellies + sunshine + fresh air + physical activity = nap. Right?

Everyone is climbing and sliding and swinging and all is well. It's the first beautiful Saturday in two weeks here so of course the park is crowded with house crazy families. Suddenly Tuck pops out of one of the tubes crying. When I asked him what was wrong he told me that "that little girl won't let me through." I was fully expecting to see a 12 year old stuck in the middle of the tube.

It was a little girl probably about four (the same age as Tuck) with her hand in Munch's face telling her "You're not gonna do it either" in the snottiest voice I've heard from a teenager much less a four year old. This is me leaving my body.

The normal me would have shot her a dirty look and moved my children to a different part of the park. Today I was not normal me. "Please move out of the way so other children can play. You are not the only one on the playground and you really need to share." In my brain I was asking myself who was talking.

Snots McFly decided that sure, she would move out of the way. She made her way through the rest of the equipment, down the slide and straight to me. "You aren't very nice to talk to me that way." And she stood there with her hands on her hips like I owed her an apology. This is me not even thinking about returning to my body.

"It's not very nice of you to be rude to smaller children and to talk so disrespectfully to an adult so save your speech for someone else."

It's that voice again! Where is it coming from? Now I am pretty sure that if her people had been around I never would have talked to her that way, so what made me do it today? Was it because her people were no where to be seen? Was it because there were a lot of smaller toddler size children on the playground and I was making a preemtive strike on their behalf? Or was it the fact that I am so tired of mannerless children running amuk on the planet that I finally took a stand?

I am not proud of my behavior at all and maybe I crossed a line. I probably did. Who lets a four year old rile them like that? Just the same, what would you have done? Would you have moved on like Normal Me? Would you have sought out the parents and had a conversation? Or would you have drop kicked her like a penalty shot on an open goal like Out of Body Me?

This parenting thing just keeps getting more complicated.

Friday, April 3, 2009

I Think I'm Going to be Sick.

I can't believe I just did that. I might need to go be sick.

I just turned down an offer to participate in a series on Parenting.com. We would have been interviewed and I would have had a chance to write a few blogs for them. My foot was in the door. And I pulled it out and closed the door myself.

I'm going to be sick.

But I have to know that I did the right thing. I did what was right for the family. The series was about families being impacted by the recession and how they are handling it. If you know me or have followed the blog for any time at all you know that we are being drop kicked by the recession.

My husband is a salesman for an Acura dealership. Yes, a car salesman. Pure commission. I am a stay at home mom. And before you say "Well, why don't you just get a job?" You know what the job market itself is like but have you coupled that with the cost of child care for three children? And even though Mo is in school, she would still require after school care and summer care. Here in the metro Atlanta area, to put three children in childcare, pay for car, gas and insurance, and still come out with just $1000 a month, I would have to take home over $50,000 a year. Do you know anyone who is willing to pay an executive assistant that? Because that is about my skill set.

We even looked at the idea of an overnight position but with Beloved's hours being what they are and the frequency that he has to stay late to finish a deal, there was no dependability that I could get to work on time. Couple that with the fact that a person's body will force them to sleep and you still have a problem.

Writing is my dream. I have wanted to write for a very long while and being home and blogging has allowed me to hone that skill and learn about different writing styles. Then Parenting comes knocking and I turned them away.

I definitely need to be sick. I guess I just have to keep praying that another opportunity will come up. This one came, right? There will be more. I just have to keep praying and writing.

And go brush my teeth.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

What Do Ya Know?!

It turns out I am just one viral video away from my 15 seconds of fame!

Yeah, I know. It used to be 15 minutes but they had to scale back because so many people are using You Tube and Photobucket and Stickam and webcams and Viddler and Movie Maker and Adobe and Photoshop that now anyone can be famous for just about anything.

I'm going to do a video of me picking stuff up with my toes while I fold laundry and change a diaper. Then I'm going to add a bunch of cool effects and some awesome music like Hey Hey We're the Monkeys and I'm going to upload it and spam the crap out of everyone to go vote for me and laugh at me. Then I'll be sure to be a rock star and I'll be on the cover of all the tabloids.

I'll be famous for being absolutely average and normal. Won't it be great?!?!

I'll have to do something about the paparazzi. I should stock up on sunglasses and umbrellas.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Show me the Funny: In Pictures and Video!


I think I have spent the better part of this week laughing until I had tears rolling down my face. There are some completely hysterical videos and pictures out there this week. From spiders to speech impediments and from hairdos to barstools. Thank you a million times over for making me laugh this week gang!

If you think you can hang with these rock stars go ahead and snag the button, blog/vlog your funny and link away!

So Merrie kicked my week off with her National Geographic Spiders. I keep looking over my shoulder for the Crack Spider personally because with the amount of caffiene I've been working on lately it's only a matter of time!

Then Jay decided that he's going to bump Clinton off What Not to Wear and made me rethink my stance on wall paper - and put on a hat.

My sister of course is constantly on a mission to find the kind of stuff that makes me snort. If this isn't the most ingenious recycling of a lawmower I don't know what is!

Rachel let me know that I'm not the only person who thinks there should be a revival of Kids say the Darndest Things with her cursing daughter who has a sock issue.

If you are a fan of the Worst of Idol you have to head to Vegas and check out the little gift Tasha wrapped up for you in a buck toothed bow. You may want to have someone standing by with their finger on speed dial for 911. I couldn't decide what was more critical - my bleeding ears or the hyperventilation from laughing.

Now for those of you who can't open video at work, I'll toss you a bone. You have to place a bid on the ficus (or get cursed in Armenian) over at "Chrissy's" place.

Way to go gang! Normally I'm scrambling on Thursday to find the truly funny but you all served it up on a stand up mike!


Life as a Vampire Must Suck. **Updated**

Ha ha, snort. Sorry. There are some cheezy jokes that I can't pass up. But I really do have a serious point. Oh and to those of you who were dreading yet another Twilight post, this sure isn't it (You're welcome Heather). I have not read the books or seen the movies and I really can't say that I plan to. Feel better? On to bigger and better then!

People just aren't willing to give up their blood. And you can go ahead and give me the "well, duh!" but I don't mean the whole exsaguination level. I just mean donating blood.

I was caught off guard earlier this week when I heard about a British lab that has managed to create synthetic blood from stem cells. Do me a favor and bypass the stem cell debate. It's not the point.

The point is that donating blood is free. It's charity and while no it won't provide you with a tax deduction, it is doing something for humanity. So why don't more people do it? I understand that there are health limitations for some. I get that and you guys are off the hook. But what about the rest of us - and yes I did say us! I haven't donated in 5 years. Mainly because I have been perpetually preggers but that's my own insanity.

Do you remember the out pouring (literally!) that happened after 9/11? The Red Cross was actually asking people to wait and give later because they had more than could be used before it expired. So what happened to those people? Why are we back to a shortage?

And I should be particularly ashamed. I'm O something. I don't think I'm the Super BloodType but I'm O and that's still in pretty high demand. I would be willing to bet that a lot of people probably don't even know their blood type because donation has never crossed their minds.

I remember going to blood drives with my parents when I was younger. It really is a pretty good gig. You lay around for an hour and then you eat cookies and drink juice. How much cooler can it be?

I know it all sounds very random but I'm thinking that maybe one day next week when Beloved goes into work late I might drop Mo at school and stop by the donation center on my way home.

At least Dracula will have lunch.

*Edits - I will not take any excuses people! If you are using the "I don't know where to go" excuse , I'll eliminate that for you right now. Visit the Give Life site and you can find a donation center near you and even set up an appointment so that you don't have to wait in line to give. Take that you weenies!*

Wordless Wednesday: Luckiest Neighbor Ever!

Who else gives their neighbor hand rolled, hand dipped, Oreo truffles for his birthday?
He doesn't even know how good he has it!